Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Sacrifice

: the act of giving up something that you want to keep especially in order to get or do something else or to help someone

I copied down this definition of sacrifice because I was thinking about Supernatural all day at work. I love how some fans say that Sam does not sacrifice anything for Dean. That's the biggest joke ever. Sam has sacrificed what he always wanted and that was a normal life. He's been constantly sacrificing that since he got in the car with Dean and he keeps sacrificing it over and over again for Dean. That should prove how much he loves Dean, that he gave up what he most wanted in life. When Dean disappeared to Purgatory with Castiel, Sam tried again because Dean was gone. Sam didn't know where he had gone and Crowley didn't tell Sam where Dean had gone or if he was even still alive. Sam had no way of knowing that Dean was in Purgatory and even if he had found out where Dean had gone, how would he have gotten him out. Should he have went to Crowley and made some deal or worse. Then, Dean would have been mad at him for that. As for Kevin, when did he become Sam and Dean's responsibility, when Dean decided he was. Kevin was not Sam's family, nor did Sam know him for that long, so why should Sam have been responsible to find him. And Dean did not sacrifice himself to go to Purgatory for Sam. Dean did not even care what would happen when he killed Dick because all he was thinking about was getting revenge on Dick for Bobby.
I love how fans think that if Sam feels a certain way then he should leave Dean. Like Sam doesn't want to be brothers with Dean. All Sam wants Dean to do, is to stop sacrificing other people for him.
I love how fans say that Dean is willing to sacrifice his life for Sam. Wow! What a big sacrifice. Seeing how Dean thinks of himself as worthless. That's not much of a sacrifice to make. Dean did not sacrifice his life for Sam's when he made that deal to bring Sam back to life. Sam didn't ask to be brought back from the dead. And what did Sam get by Dean selling his soul and going to Hell. Hell on Earth and knowing his brother was suffering in Hell. And since that deal Dean made to bring Sam back to life, how great has Sam's life been. He hasn't been happy nor has he been able to live the life that he wanted, except for that time with Amelia and who knows how happy it really was or not. I don't think Sam was all that happy even with her, whether it was real or not. I'm still going to think of it all happening in Sam's head and leave it at that. Because the writers never did let you know for sure one way or the other. It's funny that Sam spent a year living a normal life, but was not rusty hunting again, but Dean on the other hand who spent his whole life hunting, spent a normal year and was rusty.

I was thinking about when Sam told Dean that he sees light at the end of the tunnel. It meant that Sam saw hope and maybe hope that one day, both him and Dean would be finally able to stop hunting and have normal lives. Or that maybe they would find peace somehow. Sam's peace could have come with death or not. I think Sam was willing to sacrifice himself by finishing the trials so that Hell could be closed and maybe Dean would be able to finally find something for himself. Something more than just hunting. You know that Dean probably does want a normal life himself, but he's always thought of himself as a killer and thinks that's all he'll ever be. He's said that plenty of times. Plus he probably doesn't think he deserves a normal life.

It's funny to me that Dean thinks he's the only one in the world capable of saving people and he has to save everyone. Like that's his job and his job only, but then he pulls Sam into it as well and makes him feel guilty about not caring to save everyone. Like it's their job and their job only. Like there are not other hunters and other people out there saving lives. Maybe Dean feels this way because of what he did by selling his soul to bring Sam back because he broke that first seal that started everything. Dean is the one that was responsible for starting the apocalypse because he could not let Sam go. Dean was racked with guilt when Castiel told him.

I don't care anymore how other Sam fans feel about Sam. If they want to think the worst of him because he tells Dean what he needs to hear, then fine. Or they think he's a bad brother because he would not do anything to save Dean and save him for what. To live his worthless life because Dean doesn't think of his life as worth that much. It's like Dean is programmed or something to think he needs to save family, especially Sam. Sam tried to save Dean's life when he sacrificed his for the world. He wanted Dean saved, not to hunt and think he was worthless, but to have Lisa and Ben and be loved.
What is the point of saving someones life, when that someone is dying inside emotionally.
I also love the fans who constantly bring up John and how he told to take care of Sammy and that's all Dean heard growing up and it was drilled into his head. Most of the time it appears that John wasn't around, so how was he constantly telling Dean that. Yes and Dean really took care of Sam and protected him Like when that one monster almost sucked out his soul while Dean went to play video games. Who knows how many times Dean left Sam alone when he was little? We know Dean dumped Sam at Plucky's and went to go pick up on chicks. I bet by the time Sam was a teenager, he was basically taking care of himself. How many times did Dean and John go on hunts and Sam was all alone. I love how in Bad Boys, Dean spent their food money gambling, so he was really taking care of Sammy alright. And I love that dumb scene at the end where Dean is looking out at the car and sees Sam and decides to leave instead of staying for a while because he thought Sam needed him. Now, I would have believed that scene if Dean would have come out and Sam would have yelled Dean and jumped out of the car or something. Sam probably would not have cared if Dean had stayed longer and it wouldn't have been because he doesn't love or care about him. Dean was a teenager at that point and Sam was still a kid.

I think that's all for now and for a while. I hope I got everything out of my system. I think I just have to much time to think at work doing the work I'm doing. It's so monotonous, that I can think about a lot of stuff. I'm sure some of it came out not the way I wanted it to. I can think of a lot of stuff and then when I go to type it down, it disappears and I can't find the right words.