Tired Of The Lies

I just had to use of pic of my little Sammy for this post to cheer me up.
I'm really getting tired of people lying to me. Do they think I'm some stupid idiot that doesn't realize they are lying to my face. I don't know what I've done to deserve being lied to. My one sister that I thought cared about me has been lying to me as well and I'm about fed up with it. If she does not want to spend time with me, then all she has to do is tell me. I'd rather hear the truth. I'd actually rather go somewhere alone than go somewhere with someone that does not want to be doing what I'm doing. I will not inflict myself on someone if they do not want me around. All they have to do is tell me and I will go and do whatever alone. I've been alone for so long that I'm used to it. And being with someone that doesn't want to be with you makes you feel even more alone and terrible.
I like spending time with my family and other people, but if they don't enjoy spending time with me, then tell me for crying out loud. Don't lie to spare my feelings because it's worse when I know I'm being lied to.
I really don't care about anything right now. I really don't care about any of my shows except for The Blacklist. That's all that has been on for a while except for Galavant. I can't wait for Gotham and Once Upon A Time to come back on. It feels like it's been forever since I saw their last episodes.
I watched Supernaturals episode of Love Hurts with the sound turned off and it was still boring. Didn't even look at that episode with Jodie and her teens. I really don't care about Jodie now. I used to like her before and now her character sucks. Just seeing Sam as Dean's obedient dog makes me sick to my stomach. I've been watching old episodes of Simon and Simon again and I bought the fourth season of the show on DVD. I love that show because Rick and A.J. were who they were and they always fought and said crap to each other, but they loved each other. Rick always acted like the older brother that he was and that's what I loved the most. It's funny because Gerald and Jameson were almost the same age in real life. That was some great acting on their parts to play the older and younger brother and make it seem real. I loved that neither brother ever tried to change the other brother nor did they ever want the other to be unhappy. I hate how Dean doesn't really give a crap if Sam has someone else in his life. Dean didn't even give a crap if Amelia made Sam happy or not, nor does he care if Sam will ever be happy in his life. I hate how Dean practically made Sam accept Benny, when Dean made zero effort to even find out anything about Amelia or how Sam felt about her or anything. Whatever. Dean is the worst TV brother ever in my opinion and that will never change. I don't feel anything when Sam and Dean hug or supposedly have brother moments because of how Dean has treated Sam. I just know Rick would never have treated A. J. like that.
I hope I'm ready to go to Fan X next month alone. I just want to enjoy it without someone trying to make me as miserable as they are. I want to have fun even if I'm alone having fun.
That's all for now.

Panthers Or Broncos?

I think I'll be rooting for the Panthers to win this years Superbowl. The main reason I watch though, is for the commercials. Love that Pet City did this and for everything they do. I still miss my little Sammy, but it's nice to have Johnny and all his friends.

John Denver - The Gift You Are (1991) [Ultra Rare!!] [1/7]

I love this song and when I listen to John Denver it's like he still lives on in his beautiful songs and music. I know that he'll always live on in my heart because he saved me and I'll forever love him for that.

The Boy and Lauren Cohan

I loved seeing Lauren Cohan on the big screen in The Boy. That was some freaky movie and that doll was super creepy. Lauren was great in it. I'm so happy I get to see her on other shows and in movies. I loved her character Bela on Supernatural and I was sad that they got rid of her. I used to wish that they would bring Bela back, but I would not want Lauren to lower herself by appearing again when the show is crap now. Lauren went on to bigger and much better things. I still remember her character in Vampire Diaries as well. I loved her playing Rose and when she died in Damon's arms. That scene was just one of the best scenes ever on VD. I've seen her in a few Walking Dead episodes. It's hard for me to watch that show because I only can catch repeats and they are out of order, so I don't know what's going on. I hope to see Lauren in more movies. It would be nice to meet her in person and I wish she could come to one of the Cons here. I always hoped to see her at a Supernatural Con, but how many fans didn't like her character of Bela, so they probably never invited her.

Thanks Jared

I'm so thankful to Jared for posting that trailer for upcoming episodes of Supernatural. Now, I know for sure that I will not be watching any more episodes after the one coming up. I love Mark Pellegrino and that will be the only reason to watch this Wed. I don't give a crap about Castiel and it looks like he will get Sam's story once again. I can just bet money that Lucifer is going to use his vessel and Cas will still be in there as well. Same old tired crap. I was so excited in season 7 waiting to see what would happen with Sam and what happened. Absolutely nothing because Castiel got his crazy and his story and Sam was nothing. I hope Jared got plenty of time off with even more on the way. The writers have made his character so totally and completely useless, that he doesn't even need to be on the show anymore. Or he could disappear for a ton of episodes like Castiel. I'm sure how many fans wouldn't give a crap that he was gone. Oh! well, at least I was excited for a little bit and had a drop of hope for a second. That's totally gone now.
Sam is just the stupid idiot who thought God was trying to communicate with him, but it was Lucifer like it's always been. I bet when Sam was younger and praying to God, it was always Lucifer and Lucifer never let him down and always helped him.
I think the writers should finally give those Destiel fans what they want and let Dean and Cas become a couple already. Dean will be with Amara and it looks like Castiel or Lucifer will be kissing on Rowena. But when everything is over and Dean and Cas have saved the world, they can finally realize how much they love each other and all will be right with the world and they can kiss onscreen. Hopefully, Sam will die at some point and Dean will realize that he finally has to let his rotten no good little bro go already.
I'm glad Jared saved me before it was too late to hope for anything concerning Sam's character. I already figured after reading how many spoilers that the upcoming episodes would be crap, but Jared confirmed it. I read that Bobby and Rufus are coming back with some flashbacks. I'm sure something will happen and Dean will see what happened in the past with them. Boring. I like Jodie, but I don't want to see those stupid teens, so that episode is out. The wrestling episode looks and sounds stupid and so does the episode with an old lady flirting with Dean.
Thank you Jared once again for saving me from the Dean and Cas Show.

GOD LOVES YOU (With Lyrics) : Jaci Velasquez

TV Ramblings

It's been a while since I last posted because I was busy or too lazy to write.
My TV shows are starting to come back on after being off for a while for the holidays.
I just finished watching The Blacklist: The Director. Loved it so much and it's been the best episode so far of season 3. I love how every character played a part in the greatness of it. Aram was really the best character in this episode. I just love how he was watching Liz and crying, it broke my heart. I think I loved this episode the most because it shows how strong the cast is and that Red does not need to be in every scene to make the show great. James Spader is awesome, but so are the rest of the cast. I love seeing all the characters and how they interact with each other. I love when shows have how many characters and those characters can do so much in one episode without being in a lot of scenes.
The Blacklist has remained one of my top favorite shows for almost three seasons now and it's still going strong and getting even better with each episode.
Once Upon A Time started really strong this current season, but it kind of slowed down before it went on it's three month break. I can't wait for it to return because I can't wait to see how many old characters that I loved again. And I can't wait to see if they can save Hook. Galavant is on right now in it's time slot and I really enjoyed the first two shows. I laughed my butt off and the songs have been great as well.
Gotham has really been a surprise. I loved last season and I'm loving this season so far. The show makes me laugh more than anything and I love that about it. I can't wait to see what's going to happen next. All the characters have been at their best. I love how this show can have so many characters and give them all great stories.
I hate to say it, but I have given up on The Vampire Diaries. I love Ian and Paul and the rest of the original cast, but I do not like any of the new characters nor do I care about them at all. I liked the first couple of episodes, but when I turned on the show for one episode and it didn't feel like I was watched TVD, then that was the end. The show will be coming on Fridays and I doubt I will be able to see it on that night anyway. I think TVD ended when Elena chose Damon. I didn't care for them as a couple and I didn't feel anything when they were together onscreen. I would not have minded if they would have kept the love triangle going between Stefan/Elena/Damon for a whole lot longer than they did. That's what kept me watching and kept me interested. I think Stefan and Elena were better together and I loved seeing them onscreen together. They had more chemistry and when they were together they made me love The Vampire Diaries. After all, it was Stefan and Elena that were writing in diaries when the show first started. I think I loved that as well.
I'm sad that I haven't been able to watch The Originals and I don't even know what's happening on the show. I loved the show when it first started, but stupid CW kept moving the show around to nights when I could not watch because other shows were on. I don't have time to watch how many shows after they have come on when I'm working and I do not binge watch shows either. Maybe one day, I will see the episodes I have missed.
Sleepy Hollow started out good for it's third season, but I have not watched about three episodes. I don't know if I will continue watching this show. Of course, it is moving to Fridays. Now everything is going to Friday night. Also, I do not want to see Abbie and Ichabod in love or as a couple. I wish there could be one good friendship on TV with a man and woman without them turning into a couple. Who knows what will happen with it? I sure don't and I don't think I want to find out.
Last off is Supernatural. I actually liked most of the first half of this current season, but I don't know about the rest of the season. I've been reading about upcoming episodes and getting less and less excited for the shows return. I can't wait to see what happens with Sam and Lucifer, but that's about it. I'm sure those stupid writers will probably wrap things up in episode 10 and that will be the end of Sam's storyline for season 11. I could be wrong, but I might be right. When has Sam's story gone on longer than how many episodes? It would be great if we found out Lucifer wasn't really Lucifer and it was Michael talking to Sam instead. Now that would be a real twist. It's funny to me that Michael and Lucifer are probably the most powerful angels of all, but they really don't show that in the show. You would think that Michael and Lucifer would be able to appear to someone as anyone they wanted to. Gabriel could change into anyone he wanted to, so why couldn't Michael and Lucifer. You'd think Michael would have a lot more powers than Lucifer even. And it seems that he didn't have much at all. I love how fans keep whining about stupid Adam. Adam could have been gone and his soul went to Heaven or wherever when Michael took over his body. Or Michael could have made himself look like Adam. If Lucifer could reach out from the cage to Sam, then why couldn't Michael as well.
I don't have any faith in the writers of Supernatural at all anymore. I just bet the second half of the season will be all about poor Dean, Castiel because he's been absent for a while and how many other dumb characters. I read Jodie is going to return and I'm sure she'll be back with stupid Claire. Yuck. I don't want to see that character again ever. I think I'll be skipping that episode. Hopefully, I will never have to see stupid Charlie again, but I'm afraid that in some way she'll come back.
It's so nice that Jensen Ackles won The People's Choice Award. He deserved it because the writers seem to have only cared about his character for the last how many years now. He has been almost the whole show and his character is what the show has been about. Hopefully, Jared will get more time off to spend with his family because Jensen needs to spend more time doing the show because without him, I'm sure the show would be nothing. It seems to me that Jensen has to be in every episode a certain amount of time and I doubt he gets to have the time off Jared gets.
Maybe even one day those Destiel fans will get what they want. I doubt it, but they can keep dreaming. I just know when Dean and Castiel are together onscreen that's when it's time to either turn the channel or go to bed because I would rather watch grass growing than watching their boring scenes together.
Well that's all for now.

Tenderly Calling - John Denver

Ragdoll

This is an old poem I wrote long ago as well. I found a whole bunch of poems that I wrote in school or shortly after I graduated and I decided to post a few of them.

They each take me by an arm and pull so tight
I can be shared, there is no need for a fight
All day long they play their game with me
They keep me there so I will never be free

They don't know how much I can be hurt
When they get finished with me, they throw me in the dirt
I lay there all alone and I silently cry
While people look at me as they pass by

Tomorrow is a long ways away
I don't think that I will last another day
Being torn apart rips at my heart
I feel sorry for myself when it's time for them to start

Day after day it is always the same
There is no cause and I have no one to blame
If I could only make them see what they are doing to me
Then perhaps one day friends they might be

Sadness

This is an old poem I wrote long ago when I was a teenager.

Cold and gray all around me as I stood
Too many evil people and hardly any good
Fights and destruction everywhere that you look
And the only love you get, comes from a book
Tears fill your eyes and fall down your face
You put your head down in disgrace
Friends that you trusted in with your life
Have hurt you bad and twisted and stabbed you in the back with a knife
Hardships and pain are the only things you feel
When no one asks you, but they instead steal
The walls that enclose you come tumbling down
People stare at you and think you're a clown
Love is only a word that is spoken
Promises that are made are forever broken
Time to lay down on your bed
Put a pillow underneath your head
And lay there as if you were dead