Who Is The Stronger Brother?

I've been thinking about who's the stronger brother. Is it Sam or Dean? Or are they both strong in different ways. I think Dean has always thought that Sam has been the stronger brother and he still does. Maybe Dean thinks it was weak of Sam to drink the demon blood, but was it?

When Sam and Dean were growing up. Who always stood up to John? Sam did and Dean said that he always admired Sam for that. Dean's loyalty to family could be mistaken for being afraid to stand up to John and to Sam. Dean even told Gabriel that he was afraid to stand up to his family and did Dean say that because he had always been afraid to do the same thing with his. Dean never told John what he wanted or stood up to him and told him that he didn't want to hunt. Maybe Dean did have plans for his own life, but maybe he should have let John know and Sam even. Who's fault is it that Dean never told anyone what he wanted out of life? He didn't have to hunt with John or stay with him. Dean did that on his own out of a sense of loyalty to him.
Sam stood up to John his whole life and let John know that he did not want that kind of life. Sam wanted to go to college and he wanted a safe and normal life and he tried to get it. He defied John, but at least John knew what Sam wanted. Maybe Sam was disloyal to his family and maybe he wasn't. He never wanted revenge on what killed their mother because Sam never even got to know her. He did love her and you could see that in the episode "Home" when he saw her spirit.

John never broke in hell after being tortured for how long, but Dean did. Dean knows that and maybe he feels weak himself because he did give in. I personally don't think Sam thinks Dean is weak because he gave in and started torturing. Sam even said so to Dean. I think Dean's whole problem is that he feels weak himself and he knows that he broke that first seal to set everything in motion for the apocalypse to start and then he couldn't stop Sam from breaking the last seal. Why couldn't Dean stop Sam? Dean didn't know what would break the last seal and he was so afraid of and for Sam that he couldn't see what was happening. Then Sam ended up being possessed by Lucifer and going to Hell and Dean couldn't stop that. Now Sam is back and he seems to be different, but only to Dean. Maybe Dean is wondering why Sam isn't acting the way he did when he got out of hell. Just like Sam said, they both had different experiences and they are both different.

Dean made the deal with the crossroads demon after Sam got stabbed by Jake because he couldn't stand the thought of living without Sam. Sam lost Dean and seen his brother ripped apart and knew he was in hell suffering. Sam drank and didn't care if he lived or died, but he didn't outright try to commit suicide. Sam actually did whatever it took to live. Maybe he trusted Ruby and let her help him, but he did live and kept on living without Dean. Then Sam went to hell for who knows how long and came back and was living a whole year without Dean. Dean was living with Lisa and Ben and thinking Sam was in hell. Dean was drinking and having nightmares, but what was happening to Sam. Was he okay? It seems like he was to me. We don't know anything of what Sam was doing except for Sam saying he was hunting.

I still think Dean thinks of himself being the weaker brother just for the fact that he made the deal and went to hell and broke the first seal. Then Dean told Castiel in "On The Head Of A Pin" that he needed to find someone else besides him to stop the apocalypse because it was too big. Dean would've stopped the apocalypse and it would've been easy. All he had to have done was go with Sam and Ruby and I bet there would have been no apocalypse and the last seal would never have been broken. The angels knew what Dean was going to do and they played on every little weakness they could. They also played on every weakness Sam had and Ruby was the one who helped there. Both Sam and Dean didn't trust in each other enough and I still think Dean didn't trust in Sam enough. Sam begged Dean to go with him and Dean was too stubborn to go with him, just because of Ruby.

On another subject. In "When The Levee Breaks" Sam told Dean that he'll never know who Sam is? I still don't think Dean really knows who Sam is and that's why Dean is worried that Sam is not himself and there's something wrong with him. I wonder if there is something wrong with Sam or if it isn't just all Dean think there's something wrong with Sam. Bobby didn't seem to worried when Dean was talking about how changed Sam was. He seemed kind of bored and sure he had his own problems to worry about at the time, but if he really loved Sam then he'd be just as worried about Sam as Dean is. Dean never saw Sam for a whole year and Sam didn't just get out of hell. He's been hunting for almost the whole time that Dean was with Lisa and Ben. Maybe it's Dean who's been the one that changed and not Sam. Also, I think Castiel would be able to sense a change in Sam and Crowley too. It's mainly just Dean thinking there's something wrong with Sam.

I think that each brother is strong but in their own ways. Sam to me, seemed like he didn't need anyone. He left John and Dean and I'm sure he loved them, but he left them to go live his own life. That takes a lot of courage and strength to strike out on your own and go after what you want. Dean stayed with John and that took strength and courage on Dean's part because he gave up what maybe he wanted in order to help his father. There are how many other ways that both brothers are strong. Sam just drinking demon blood and then having to stay in that room all alone with no one but himself. Dean alone in Hell and being tortured with no one but himself. I don't know why fans have to fight about either Sam or Dean being stronger or weaker. I think most fans just want Dean to be the stronger brother because he's the oldest, but that makes no difference. Sometimes the younger sibling can be stronger than the older one. Everyone has different strengths and you have to play to yours when you find out what they are. Maybe Sam knows what his are, but Dean still doesn't.

Another thing I was thinking about and was angry about while season 4 was on. That stupid saying "Save Dean Save The World". Like only Dean was a hero and could save the world and that Sam was just a piece of crap and couldn't save anything. I hated that. Sam and Dean save people and the world together, not just one or the other. They're both heroes in their own ways and have always been.

Weekend At Bobby's And Thoughts About Sam

I really enjoyed watching Weekend At Bobby's and it was nice to see more about how Bobby spends his time. It was interesting because you could see he not only helped Sam and Dean but other hunters as well. I loved watching Crowley and now he's the King Of Hell, who knew? I loved seeing Rufus again and I'm hoping he'll come on again. It seems he's not done with hunting and hasn't been since last season. In the third season, they made it like he was retired from hunting, but with the apocalypse and now with all the monsters, I'm sure he's out of retirement. There wasn't a lot of Sam and Dean, but they were in the show and that's all that mattered. Jensen did a good job directing. I don't know anything about directing, but it was just like all the rest of the Supernatural episodes, so he did just as good a job as all the other directors that have done directing on the show. That is a compliment to Jensen because I love all the other episodes of Supernatural, except for Heaven And Hell and even that episode was okay.

I'm glad I'm not going on the message boards because I can just guess what's being posted on there. Sniveling over Sam and Dean not being in the episode a lot and mainly that Sam wasn't in the episode. Then the mystery of Sam and Dean crying to Bobby about how different Sam is. Then there are probably fans either loving or hating Crowley, Rufus, the cop or the neighbor. Then there are all the crazed Jensen fans that probably loved it just because he directed it. Like they know what good directing is. It was a well written episode as well as directed. Jim Beaver is a class act and I loved meeting him at the last L.A.Con. I'm glad we got to see some more of his great acting. Well, it's been almost a week since I've gone on message boards and I'm happier not knowing what anyone is saying about anything.

Now on to Sam. What is the deal with Sam? I read some of the comments on the message board last week about Sam. Like Sam is so full of anger and rage. Why? I actually think it's the opposite. I think Sam has no anger or rage left and now it's gone. Sam killed Brady and he was the one who killed Jessica, so Sam's anger about that should be gone. YED was killed by Dean long ago, so I'm sure Sam's anger about him is gone. Then Lucifer killed all the demons that had watched Sam all his life, so why would Sam still be angry? I think Sam is kind of empty and his anger is gone. I think that's what kept Sam going was his anger and now he's got nothing left. Maybe all he has is hunting and he really doesn't even care about that. All the demons, Lucifer and all the rest are gone, so who would he want revenge on or be angry at now? Maybe Sam isn't even angry at Dean anymore. He said he used to be angry at John and Dean. What if all of Sam's anger is gone and he let that all go?
Who knows what went on in Hell or how Sam got out? I hope we find out soon. I just see Sam as not caring about anything because he has nothing to care about, even Dean because he has Lisa and Ben. What does Sam have? Nothing, but hunting.
It's funny that Dean thinks there's something wrong with Sam, but he didn't consider that maybe that's what Sam thought when he came back from hell, that there was something wrong with him. It's kind of funny.

My Poor Little Sammy

My poor little Sammy. He got chased all over his house by that evil bunny toy. It bit him in the head when he fell. Little Dean, Ollie, Jared and Lucifer all tackled the bunny and threw it in a metal box. Little Sammy had a Supernatural marathon last night with all the other little demons. The girls all went out shopping when the bunny attacked Sammy, so they weren't home. My little Sammy was crying and I had to hold him for a long time before he stopped. I told little Sammy not to buy anymore suspicious toys and I told him that I wanted to see what he was getting before he bought it. Little Sammy stuck his tongue out at me and then said he wasn't a baby and could choose his own toys. I told him he was a baby for sticking his tongue out and I won't give him anymore money to buy toys if he's not good. He said he was sorry and I hugged him again. I took that stupid bunny and threw it in the trash.

Little Sammy's Bunny

I came home today to find out that little Sammy's bunny was walking and had bandages and glowing eyes. It looks like it's got teeth too. I asked Sammy what was happening to his bunny and where he got it. He wouldn't tell me, he said it's just a toy. I'm starting to wonder about it. I hope it's going to be alright. I'll have to have someone check in on Sammy tomorrow while I'm at work. He doesn't have school and I'm worried about that so called toy of his.

Dean Read Books

I sat laughing all day at work today thinking about Dean reading and looking up stuff to get Sam out of hell. What kind of books could he even read or look at? The Bible wouldn't even help. As far as I know, Sam is the only one who's ever been possessed by Lucifer and ended up going to Hell with him and Michael. What the hell would Dean even research on the subject to find out how to get Sam out of Hell? It's just like when Bobby said he'd check his demon blood addiction manual when they had Sam locked up in the panic room.
I personally don't think Dean even tried anything because what could you try. The only one that could possibly be able to help would be either Death or Crowley and I doubt Dean tried to find either one of them. Maybe Dean just realized that he'd never get Sam back and just started to live. He looked pretty happy in those photos of him Lisa and Ben. Maybe the only thing Dean could do was honor the promise he made to Sam and try to live a normal life. I doubt Dean was happy all the time, but I doubt he just thought of Sam every minute either. Why didn't Dean try to get in contact with Castiel himself or ask for his help in getting Sam out of hell?
I just thought it was funny today and was thinking up all kinds of books Dean could possibly read and here's some titles. How To Get Your Possessed Brother Out Of Hell? and I'm sure it was written by an unknown author. Journey Through Hell and How To Get Out Of Lucifer's Cage Down In Hell by Lucifer himself. Maybe he wrote it in the year he was out and in between summoning the four horsemen or something.


Today at work I chose my new charity to support for next year. The money comes right out of my paycheck and goes to that charity. I chose one of Jared's charities because I was thinking about him and his love for dogs. I usually support St. Jude's, but I can send them checks throughout the year if I choose to. I still remember going to look at those videos from one of the Conventions and that stupid bitch who said what she did to Jared about his charity. Just the look on Jared's face. I wish I knew who she was. Like Jared was supporting a rotten charity or something. I give to charities and I hope they do what's right with the money I give and that's all I can do. You shouldn't just stop supporting charities. I hate to say it, but I bet a lot of those animal charities that say they don't euthanize, do anyway. They probably have to because there are just too many animals and not enough loving homes to go around for the animals to go to.

Today is the anniversary of John Denver's death. I still remember when I heard the news. I just couldn't believe it. I love John Denver and I still love him. He gave me the gift of his beautiful music to enjoy for the rest of my life and I'm so grateful to him for that. I'm also grateful to John Denver for saving my life. He did with his music. I remember being afraid of going to work and just going out and I'd listen to his music and it would give me self confidence and strength. John Denver's songs are like my favorite drug. I can listen to them and all my worries and fears go away. I can't express everything I feel for him, but I loved him and I wish I could've met him to thank him for everything he's done for me and for saving my life. He was an inspiration to me and many others.

When I came home today I saw little Sammy's new toy. It looked like it had been fought over. I asked Sammy if one of his friends and him had been playing with it or fought over it because it looked so ragged. Little Sammy said he hasn't touched it all day and he was at school. Who did that to his little bunny? Now, I'm worried.

My Little Vampires

All my little demons have now turned into little vampires. Their little town has gone vamp crazy and now everyone is dressing up as vampires. My little vamps bought wigs so they could pretend to be Edward and Bella from Twilight. Little Bela said she's already Bella, but her name only has one L in it. Sammy decked out his new room with all kinds of vampire items and a new coffin bed. I told my little vamps that there was going to be a vampire episode of Supernatural coming up and they got so excited and starting jumping up and down. I told them that Dean is supposed to get bitten and he might turn into a vamp. Now they can't wait to see the episode. I told them it won't come on for a few more weeks. This week is the Bobby episode where Bobby is going to call Sam and Dean to come and help him. Then there's an episode about the truth. Little Sammy asked if that was the episode that Dean punches Sam and I told him it was. Little Sammy asked why Dean always has to punch on Sam. I told him I didn't know why. Little Sammy said that Sam needs Dean to hug him and not punch him. I told Sammy that that's what grown men do sometimes. They punch instead of hug and sometimes they punch and then hug. It's really confusing. Little Sammy said it wasn't confusing to him and he went and hugged little Dean and told him he loved him and they went to go play.
Little Sammy bought a new toy and I can't figure out what it does. Sammy said it was really special and I can't see anything special about it. It looks like a floppy eared bunny that just sits there. Oh well! If Sammy wanted to spend his money on it, then that's okay.
My little vamps asked why I wasn't going on the message boards anymore. I told them there are too many people complaining and whining about the show. There are a lot of good people with great ideas and thoughts, but I always end of seeing something I don't like in the process of finding their posts. I get mad and I know I shouldn't because it doesn't do me any good or them. I just don't understand it. I told my little vamps that I'd rather spend more time with them than go on those boards and they were very happy about that. I am too.

I Need To Stay Off Message Boards For A While

I think I'm going to stay off message boards for a while because it drives me crazy. All the crazy fans out there that just want to see Dean and Dean's character only. They want Supernatural to be The Dean Show because all they want to see is Dean. I want more Sam and Dean myself. I want to see Sam and Dean deal with their issues and problems. They can do it together or separately. It makes no difference to me. I'd love for Sam to finally have someone else besides just Dean and something else. I hate that some fans feel like Sam is only supposed to be with Dean all the time and no one else. And if Dean doesn't like who Sam spends his time with, then those people are evil or something. Give me a break. Since when is Dean a good judge of character. Then, all these people think Dean can just fix Sam, but maybe Dean is part of Sam's problems and why Sam is the way he is right now.

I just hope to get some Sam insight in season 6, but I'm not going to count on it. I'd like to see how Sam met Samuel and the rest of the Campbell's and maybe some of their hunts or something like that. I want to know what Sam did in that whole year without Dean. Did Dean really even try that hard to find a way to get Sam out of hell or did he just tell Sam that? Dean read some books, that doesn't sound like he tried that hard to me. When Dean was in hell, Sam summoned a crossroads demon and tried to trade places with Dean. Sam was a wreck because all he had was Ruby and Dean for a whole year had Lisa and Ben. Like Dean really suffered all that much for a year. I'm sure he did wonder about Sam, but was a part of him kind of relieved that Sam was gone and he no longer had to look after Sam or worry about him. It seemed to me, that the weight on Dean's shoulders was Sam. Once that was lifted, did Dean feel better. I don't know.

I'd like to see things happen on the show, but if I don't then whatever. I'll love the show no matter what, but just as long as both Sam and Dean are on it together. I love when they're both on the show equally and not when there's more than one or the other. I'd love to see an entire episode with just Sam and maybe we'd get to see more of what he's thinking and feeling, but I doubt it will ever happen. Jensen/Dean fans would have a fit and go ballistic or something and whine and cry that Dean was being pushed aside for Sam and whine whine whine. They don't care if maybe Jensen would like a little break every now and then. Like he doesn't work hard or something and would maybe like to go on vacation too. Or he might need time off for something personal, but never gets it because of his rabid and crazy fans. I think most of them love Dean and could care less about Jensen himself. That's just sad. It would be nice to see other characters with more airtime and then both Jared and Jensen could get a break, but everyone wants to see Sam and Dean stuck to each other's asses all the time. It's scary.

I love the boards, but they are like an addiction or something and I have to go cold turkey right now. I may go on once in a while, but I want to enjoy season 6 just like I did season 5 without all the hatred and craziness.

Little Sammy's Baby

My little Sammy is busy getting ready for Halloween. So are the other little demons. They've all been decorating their houses and buying new outfits.
I found a baby carriage in little Sammy's house the other day and tried to look inside it. Little Sammy stopped me and wouldn't let me see what was in it. Today when Sammy went to school. I looked in the baby carriage and found a little devil. It's just a stuffed toy devil. I was worried that he had something else in there, maybe one of his pets or something.
When Sammy came home from school, there was something wrong with his eyes. I thought he had spent all night awake because his eyes were all bloodshot and bulging. Little Sammy was just wearing some Halloween glasses that little Dean got him.
Little Sammy told me he loves Halloween and it's sad that Sam on Supernatural doesn't like Halloween. I teased little Sammy that he'd better watch out because he keeps dressing up like the monsters that Sam and Dean hunt and kill from the show. Little Sammy laughed and then went to go put on his vampire outfit.
I personally love Halloween just like my little Sammy. I love the whole month of October. It gets darker and cooler and there's just a certain something in the air that I love to breathe. The days get shorter and the nights longer and clearer. It's a wonderful time. Nature is at the most beautiful with the leaves turning colors and falling off the trees. Rain cleans out the air and makes it easier to breathe. It's just a wonderful time of year.

Random Pics Of Sammy And My Little Demons

Little Sammy's Supernatural party was a big hit with his friends. All of them came over to watch the premiere of Smallville and Supernatural. Little Sammy just loved the episode and he's so happy that he gets to watch Sam and Dean again. It took a few days to clean up the mess in his Supernatural room, but he did it with the help of the other little demons.
I've been so busy lately that I haven't had time to post what's been happening with my little Sammy and Co. They've been busy themselves. They started back to school this week. Little Sammy went to school dressed in jock clothes and with nerdy glasses. He said that he can be athletic and smart at the same time. Little Sammy made a new room in his house where he can teach his little stuffed animals. He looked so cute playing teacher. I used to do that too with both my stuffed animals and my dolls.
I think some mean bully at little Sammy's school put something into Sammy's drinking mug. It had to be alcohol or some drug. Little Sammy acted all funny and was skipping around. I smelled it and it smelled like booze. I told little Sammy to watch his mug at all times and little Dean said he'd make sure that no one did that again.
All my little demons are having fun going to school and playing. I'm not having as much fun going to work, but I have to. I don't mind working and it passes the time until Friday when Supernatural comes on again.

My Little Jess turned 1 year old

My little Jess turned 1 on the 17th of Sept. She had a big Birthday bash at her house to celebrate. All her friends showed up and helped her to celebrate. They brought her gifts and made her so happy. Little Sammy bought her three new pairs of wings to wear and she loves them all. Now, she is busy trying on all the new outfits from the clothes store because she loves them all.

I can't believe that I've been with my little demons for this long. Supernatural is going to start in 5 days and we all can't wait for it to come back on.