I just finished writing a story. I'm a pretty crappy writer, but I try anyway. I wish that I could write better and tell what's really in my heart. All I can do is try to express what I'm feeling by practicing. I wrote a short story about Dean getting the amulet back. I don't want Sam to give Dean that amulet back because Dean threw it away. If one of my sisters threw something I gave them away, I'd never think they wanted it back. That's why I don't want Sam to be the one to give the amulet back to Dean. Why would Sam even think that Dean would want it back? Maybe Sam did leave it in the trashcan where Dean threw it. I think it would be cool if Dean got the amulet back in some mysterious way and it made him believe in God and that God really does care about him and Sam. That would be more moving and interesting than Sam just giving Dean back the amulet. I can't even picture it in my mind. I did picture what I wrote about, that it's God that makes sure that Dean gets the amulet back. I guess that's kind of stupid. I don't know.
I do believe in God. I know a lot of people lose faith in God because they don't get what they want. Or they don't believe in God because of all the suffering and pain they see every day.
I believe in God and I believe that he is in the middle of our suffering and that he suffers right along with us. That when we hurt, then so does he. He doesn't want us to fight, hate and kill each other. He wanted us to love and help each other and it's our choice what we do. We can love or hate. How would be ever grow and learn, if God didn't give us free will to make our own choices? I love how some people make stupid choices with their lives and then blame God for everything. God gave them a brain and free will and they only have themselves to blame for how their life turns out.
I believe that if you trust and believe in God, then he is there for you and you can feel his love surrounding you. There have been times in my life when I've been so depressed and all alone and everything is dark and I feel like I've fallen into this deep dark pit that I can't get out of. And while I've been in that dark pit, I have felt something giving me comfort. Some people would think I'm stupid and that's okay. Maybe they don't believe in God, but I do. I have felt things all my life and I know that God is there for me and he watches over me and all the people of the world. There have been times that I pray to God to help all the people and animals that are suffering and being abused and hurt. I pray that he comforts them in their time of need and is there for them. I'm sure he is. When I feel sad or depressed, I think about what others could be suffering and I don't feel all alone and most of the time I think my situation could be worse.
I think suffering and pain are a part of life and if we never experienced them, then how could be appreciate being happy and at peace. I think there are some people who actually make their lives here on Earth worse and some that there lives are bad, but they still love to live and wouldn't trade their lives with anyone.
I have a friend on Facebook and I love to read her posts. She's been through quite a lot this year and does she complain. No, she makes me laugh by what she's posting. Even when she was in pain in the hospital a while ago. I was worried about her when Irene hit back East and she lost her power and what not. I prayed for her and everyone over there. Her posts are not full of please pity me because of what I'm going through, but instead she tries to get some good out of the bad and actually make others feel good. I love that about her and I wish I could meet her and really know her.
I've just been thinking about this stuff and decided to write it down.
