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I got a new MP3 player and I loaded how much of my stuff onto it yesterday. Today I started looking at what was on it from my computer and I saw one of the last videos I took of my little Sammy. I watched it and it made me miss Pet Society and little Sammy more than ever. Then on the way home from work I was listening to Never Say Never by The Fray and I started to cry. I will never forget my little Sammy or stop loving him for any reason.
I think my love for Supernatural become entwined with my little Sammy. When Pet Society was shut down and I lost Sammy, it was like all the love I had for Supernatural disappeared. The main reason I made Sammy was Supernatural and Sammy's name came from Sam Winchester. I've tried to watch Supernatural and feel the same way about it that I once did, but I don't. Part of the reason is that my Sammy and his friends are all gone now except pictures. I miss changing and fixing up Sammy's Supernatural room. That was the one room in his house that always stayed. I changed other rooms to different themes all the time, but never that one.
I watched Supernaturals mid season finale. It was okay, but predictable like always. I love how Castiel just managed to steal another angel's grace. What the hell is up with that? If angels can steal other angels grace, then why hasn't other angels done so. I guess Anna when she ripped out her grace and it became a tree, she never ripped it all out and keep some in her because she had powers. I don't get that crap at all. It's stupid. Just like now on the show, any angel can just pick any body to possess. I think Dean finally found out what a stupid ass he is. Or maybe not. Death tried to teach Dean something how many times now, but stupid Dean just does not get it. Poor Sam. I'm sure Dean will blame him for Kevin's death, just like he blamed Sam for the whole apocalypse. Like Dean had nothing to do with it. It would be nice if Sam was dead and that angel took over for good. It feels like Sam is dead when I watch the show. I'd really love to see the old Sam back. The one who was independent and spoke his own mind. The one who had friends and connected with people. I love how Dean was the one who supposedly had no friends and told Sam that he couldn't have friends because he shouldn't get close to people. Now Dean all of a sudden has how many friends and old friends from the past that just keep coming out of the woodwork. While I guess Sam has no past now and no friends or anyone he knows from the past. They were all demons or evil or whatever, so I guess he doesn't need anyone but his loving brother that doesn't care what Sam wants or needs.
I will always and forever love my little Sammy, but now that he's gone he took all the love I had for Supernatural to wherever he is now.
