My Mom passed away this morning. She had a stroke last week and she never did recover from it. For almost the last two years it's been how much stuff happening to my Mom. First she needed stents and then a pacemaker in her heart. She had heart failure and that's why she needed all the that. She almost died how many times. My Mom was tough and I really can't believe what she recovered from, but this time, I guess her time was up.
I'm so grateful to have had a Mom like mine. She took care of me for my whole life. I have never gotten married or had any children. I stayed living with my Mom and Dad after I graduated and then when my Dad died, I stayed with my Mom. I've been living in our house for almost two years without my Mom. She was at an assisted living place. I could not take care of her by myself and when I had to go back to work, there would not have been anyone to be with her. A couple of times she needed a lot of care. I'm glad that my Mom didn't die almost two years ago and that I was able to spend more time with her. My oldest sister would always take me to visit my Mom where she was living. We walked over there how many times to see her. We also got to take her gambling to Wendover. She loved to go there. We took her a few times out to eat and I'm glad that last year she was here for Thanksgiving and Christmas and she was able to spend time with us. I'm going to miss visiting at the place she lived because when we left, she would come to the door of her room and wave to us before we turned the corner to leave.
I have how many great memories with my Mom. I will always cherish them and all my memories are my greatest treasures. I treasure every minute I spend with the people I love and I treasure all the memories I have of those times. When I'm alone, I'm never really alone because everyone I love is always with me in my heart and in my memories of them.
I thought I'd write down some of those memories.
I remember all the times that I went to Wendover on the bus with my Mom to gamble. The best part was the ride down there. I mostly sat with my Mom and we'd laugh and talk to the other people on the bus. My Mom really loved to talk to people. She used to call the people on the bus her Wendover family. I mostly went to Wendover to spend time with my Mom. I remember the times after my Dad died and we'd use to walk how far from where the bus dropped us off. And a few of the bus drivers would drop us off closer to our house so that we wouldn't have to walk so far. I had so many fun times and great memories with how many people that were on the bus and my family that used to go as well. There were times when my sister and I and my Mom would go. Those were fun trips. I'm glad I have so many wonderful memories to remember.
I remember when my Mom and I went on the bus on a long trip to Laughlin. And I can't believe that my Mom went on a plane to Vegas with me for my Birthday one year. That was a great trip and my Mom and I had a lot of fun together. We mostly gambled, but we did other stuff as well. I got her to go to the IMAX that used to be at The Luxor. We saw how many shows and we even watched NSYNC in concert on the screen and my Mom even liked it.
My Mom went to a couple of Jazz games with me because I had no one else to go with at the time. I used to get free tickets for subscribing to their magazine and we'd go to those games. It was really fun and I know my Mom had fun too, except for the night we had to wait over two hours for our bus to come to get us home.
I remember all the shopping my Mom and I did. It seemed like we went shopping 2-4 times a week. We also did a whole lot of walking. My Mom didn't like to drive and neither did I. We would usually take the bus or walk to wherever we wanted to go. I'll never forget all those times. Sometimes we were alone and other times we were with how many family members. My Mom loved to eat out and we'd do that quite a lot as well. We also went to a lot of movies together. The last movie I remember going to with my Mom was Spiderman 3. After that, she didn't want to go to the movies. She would still watch movies on DVD or TV, but that's about it. I can't believe that when Lord Of The Rings and Harry Potter came out, she went with me how many times to see them. I don't think she ever did watch all the Harry movies and she didn't really care about seeing The Hobbit.
Well, I have a whole ton of memories, but I can't write all of them down. I just know that whenever I'm feeling sad, I can remember all the good times I had with my Mom and she'll always be with me. My Mom will always be in my heart and soul, along with everyone I love, no matter where I go or what I do.
I just feel that when I'm out walking, even though my Mom won't be there in person, she'll be walking beside me always.
I like to be honest even when I'm just posting something on my blog. There's no reason to lie about stuff. There were times when I was mean to my Mom and there were times when we said hurtful things to each other. I don't know if everyone does that or not, or if they admit to it or not. I will admit to it. There were times that I was a dirty little spoiled brat, but I do believe my Mom loved me any way and I know I loved her. We'd fight sometimes, but it never lasted for long. Most of the time it was great with my Mom. She was my best friend through the years when I became an adult. I'll never forget all the special things she did for me and I know she unselfishly did them even though she didn't want to.
Before I end this very long post. I remember when I was a little girl and all the stuff my Mom did for me and our family. She did so much and worked so hard for a whole lot of years. It seemed like her job was 24/7 and she did so much. I remember her scrubbing the floors, washing the dishes, cooking, getting us ready for school and so much more. I think my Mom liked to cook, but when we were all grown up, she liked going out to eat because she didn't have to cook.
Well, I think I'm done because I don't know if I'm expressing myself and how I feel properly. I can never find the right words to express how I feel. It's very hard. I just know I loved my Mom and no matter what, she'll always be with me. She'll never be gone as long as I remember and love her. I may never get to see her or hear her talk to me, but if I talk to her, I'm sure somewhere she'll be listening. The love and everything she gave me will give me comfort for the rest of my days.
