Well it's the end of another year. This year had a lot of ups and downs for me. I think mostly down. I went on a couple of vacations and they were fun. Other than that, it was a pretty dull year for me. Nothing really made this year special. I was depressed a lot and at times I really wondered how I kept going. Usually, I have a TV show or something else that keeps me happy and motivated. I've even thought a lot about writing a story I've been thinking about. But why bother, who would read it anyway? No one. I don't think being a vegan or whatever I am is very hard. I have really tried to avoid all dairy this year. I have ended up eating small amounts when I eat out, which is not that often anymore. The one thing about not eating meat and dairy that kills me is the way people treat you or look at you. They think I'm crazy for not eating meat, but I wonder if they actually had to kill their own meat, would they be able to. If packages of meat and dairy had all the horrors animals go through on them, would people buy them? I'm sure a lot of people would. I know people just want to believe that these animals are treated so well and that they just line up on the slaughterhouse floor to die and are happy about dying for us. I realized how uncaring people really are about animals and each other. I used to be that way about animals. I used to think they liked doing those tricks and doing them for people. Who knew elephants and big cats were beaten and starved so they would do those tricks? I'm sure I knew somewhere, but I never went to a lot of circuses in my life and I'm glad I didn't. I really wish people could see Zoo's as the prisons they are. I finally saw that, but I think I knew it all along. All places where animals are kept locked up for our entertainment make me sick and the people who go there. Do they even think about what happens to those dolphins or whales or whatever animal they are there to see? I doubt it, they only think about what they want. I know that if I was an animal, all I would want is freedom, even if my life didn't last that long and some creep of a hunter came along and killed me. At least the days I was free would be worth living.
Hopefully, 2019 will be a better year, but who knows. Ending this year not knowing if I'm going to get a paycheck or not or how long I'm going to not be working really killed the end of this year. And going into the New Year with all the uncertainty is not making me happy. I really hope I find something to motivate me in the new year. Well that's it for now.
