Buffy And Angel

I thought I'd write about Buffy and Angel. I used to love watching Buffy The Vampire Slayer seasons 1-3. After that I didn't watch it very much. Every once in a while, I'd watch a certain episode if it looked good. I loved Angel being on the show and I was so sad and disappointed that they made a spin-off of just him. Sure I got to see Angel more and David Boreanaz, but I loved Angel on Buffy. I loved watching Buffy and Angel and all their scenes together. I loved their love story so much. You knew that they loved each other so much, but they would never be together. I still think that scene when Buffy sent Angel to hell is my favorite scene of any show. I still remember watching it for the first time. I just died inside and it was probably the most saddest thing I've ever watched on TV. I loved how Buffy told Angel to close his eyes before she stabbed him and that's what Darla had said to him, right before she changed him into a vampire.
I loved the whole cast from the first three seasons. You knew the good guys were and you knew who the bad guys were. After that season, it all became a blur and I couldn't stand it. I started watching Buffy at the start of the third season. I read how many of the Buffy books and loved them. The original stories and the ones from the show. I was totally and completely obsessed and in love with the show and the love story between Buffy and Angel. After I stopped watching both shows, I would still read the books because I loved them. I still have all of them. I love Angel's first season and the fifth season the most. The other three are okay, but I still couldn't stand that Angel had a baby with Darla. They were both vampires and had a human baby. That was just stupid.
I loved Buffy until I watched her become a ditsy slut and then I couldn't stand her. She was this strong and kick ass female and turned into some whimpering weakling out of no where. She acted weak in front of that Riley guy and Spike and I couldn't stand it. When she was with Angel, she was always the stronger one or on equal ground with him. I loved Willow and even when she turned gay, I didn't mind. It's when her lover got killed and she turned evil to get revenge and she wanted to destroy the world. The character Xander was just around for comedy because that's about all I seen him as. I loved Oz in the second season and I loved him with Willow. They were too sweet together. I loved Cordelia in Buffy and I actually loved her in Angel until her and Angel fell in love. Giles was great too and then all of a sudden, I don't know what happened to him. He was having sex, playing a guitar and doing goofy crap and I didn't even get his character. Spike went from a bad ass vamp to a groveling love sick idiot around Buffy, except when he wasn't trying to rape her. I thought that all stuff with Buffy and Spike was sick and that Buffy even had sex with him. I guess some fans liked it. You knew Spike liked her from the start and had a thing for her, but when she reciprocated it, that was scary.
I never minded how Buffy ended. I even watched a couple of the last episodes of the show and liked them. I also loved all the crossover episodes of Buffy and Angel. My favorite was when Buffy came to see Angel and he was a human being and they were together and then Angel had to turn back time and he remembered and Buffy didn't. That episode broke my heart and that was one of my favorite scenes ever on a show when Buffy put her hand on Angel's chest and said she felt his heartbeat.
I guess I loved that because back then I was a romantic and believed that one day I'd find someone to love me. I still haven't found anyone and I can blame myself because I don't even try. I just take a look around at all the people at my work, my family and everywhere I go. It seems like no couples stay together and no one wants to try and make things work between them. Like there is no love anymore. I've never been on a date and I've never been kissed or had sex. I can admit that. I'm to blame for that because I guess I'm afraid or part of me is. I'm overweight and I know when a guy looks at me, he's only thinking about getting easy sex or something because I'd be desperate or they think I'd be. I just don't see any reason to try and find someone now. I'm how old and most people my age have been with how many people and married how many times. I don't think I could deal with that. I couldn't be with someone who has kids of their own with someone else. I'd love the kids, but would they love me.

Okay, I'm getting too crazy about that. Now back to why I even posted about Buffy and Angel. I was just so obsessed with Buffy when Angel was on the show and I loved it so much. It was so hard for me to let it go and I eventually did. I don't want to let Supernatural go, but it's starting to get too crazy and convoluted to watch. When you don't even know now who's good or evil and who's good or bad and even the main characters have changed into people you don't even know or like anymore. I'm starting to actually dislike Dean's character and Sam isn't even all there right now. It's funny that Dean during the series has never been anyone but Dean, but Sam has been possessed twice now, has changed bodies with someone and is now without a soul and is like a different person. Jared does a great job of playing the different roles, but I want to see Sam, not all these other characters. I want to know that Sam is one of the good characters and what he's doing is the right thing. Then we have Dean, who is always doing the right thing, no matter what he does. Even when he's done stuff that Sam has done, he's always right. I can't stand it anymore. Now on Supernatural there is no good guys or bad guys. The hunters on the show, I thought were the good ones fighting evil and now they're being depicted as killers and whatnot. The only hunter on the show who's good is Dean. Sam is either wrong all the time or he's turning evil or darkside and that doesn't matter what he's doing. He kills demons and he's wrong for doing it. He doesn't kill demons and he's wrong for doing that. It just seems like everything Sam does is wrong and everything Dean does is right and I'm tired of it already.
I'm starting to wonder if the writer's aren't going to make Dean be God or something in the end. God came down to Earth to be a human being and then lost faith in himself and needs to get it back or something. Or there's some big plot and he knows about it and is waiting around until it's the right time to reveal himself. Tons of fans think there is something about Dean and he's not all human, so I'm sure he's God. Seeing as he's now the whole moral center of Supernatural and he know what's right and wrong and no one else does but him. Sam is I don't know who at this point. Maybe one of God's angels that's helping him or something and is more devoted to him. Who the hell knows? I think I'm getting sarcastic because I can't stand all the crap anymore. Sam always has to be some mystery character and Dean is always Mr. Wonderful good guy that does no wrong and everyone should feel for him.

I think I have to write about this just to stop being depressed about it. I'm slowly letting Supernatural go and I don't want to. I'm still clinging on it and hoping for the best and that I'll love it again like I did last year. I'm still going to enjoy going to the L.A. Con because I love Supernatural and always will. I appreciate Jared, Jensen and all the other actors and actresses that have been on the show. I appreciate Kripke for creating it and all the other writers and directors and everyone who has made the show possible. I might not like what's happening now, but I still love all the other seasons and always will. I'm not mad at Sera Gamble either or what she's doing with the show. It's up to her and whoever to make it what it is. I hope to keep watching the show. I just want to love it, like I did before. I loved the beginning of this season and the last episode, but I've hated how Sam now doesn't have a soul and no one likes him, even Sam fans. It's like everyone hates this Sam and it's just Sam without a soul. He still seems like Sam to me, even without a soul. Sure he doesn't care about things, but he has all his emotions. He may have been going through the motions of being the old Sam, but isn't that what Dean did all last season and the season before. That's what Death told him in My Bloody Valentine. That he was defeated and just going through the motions of trying to live because he felt dead inside already.

I hope my love for Supernatural doesn't die yet and maybe I'll get the love I had for it back soon. I'm hoping and praying for that.