I Love Pet Society

I love Pet Society on Facebook. Pet Society is celebrating their 2ND Birthday. I've been playing for over a year now. I can't believe it's been that long. I just love my little Sammy and he makes me happy. I don't know how it's possible for a computerized pet to make me happy, but it does. They've always got something new going on and they've come up with some really cute things. I love taking pictures of my Sammy with my other pets. I love to take pictures of all the stuff and my Sammy's big house. I really needed a boost and my little Sammy gave it to me. They're having parties and now four pets can be in your house at once. It's so cute because it looks like they are really having a party. They hug, wave and dance. It's so cute and I love watching them. Some would say I need to get a life, but this is my life and I don't care what others think of it. I can do whatever I want with my time and if it makes me happy and doesn't hurt anyone, then I'm going to do it.

I've been watching some season 2 episodes of Supernatural that I haven't watched in a long time. Road Kill, Heart, Hollywood Babylon and Folsom Prison Blues. Road Kill was really interesting and I liked it a lot. Sam told Molly that salting and burning the body was death to ghosts, but they weren't sure about it. Molly was cremated, so she was just sticking around because she had unfinished business. You never know what happened to John Winchester or if he's sticking around watching over Sam and Dean or if he let go and went on to wherever. I think the ghost goes only if they want to and not because their body is salted and burned. Or maybe they go to Hell, when they're salted and burned, if they've been killing people because it looks to me like they burn up or something. Who knows? I sure in hell don't.

I just finished reading a book called The Walk by Richard Paul Evans. It was really good and inspirational. In the book, the guy's wife dies and she tells him to live before she dies. She wanted him to go on and have a life. Later she tells him that she's only behind the door or next door. How do we know if our loved ones are watching us? Maybe they want us to be happy and to keep on living, even though they are gone. You never do know. I guess the only way you're going to find out is when you die. I've always felt at peace at funerals. Even at Arlington, where all those people are buried. All I felt was a peace and nothing else. Hopefully they are all at rest. I'm sure a lot of them died suddenly and some died slowly. It's hard to think about it. When I die, then I hope it's fast and I don't suffer, but it's not up to me. I can just hope for that when my time comes.

I also finished reading a book called House Of Reckoning by John Saul. John still can make a great horror novel. This novel was awesome because it was about justice too. I loved it. I'm still reading the vampire book.

I miss typing, even if it's numbers at work. Maybe my hands just need to be doing something. I went on The CW board in my house there and that was all. I wanted to comment on that thread about Dawn Ostroff, but I didn't. I swear people are just lucky that she's kept Supernatural around and it hasn't been cancelled like a lot of other shows. I appreciate The CW and Dawn for keeping Supernatural on the air and having confidence in it. I love that my other shows like Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill and Smallville are still on too. I believe that if Supernatural was on another network, it would've been cancelled a long time ago. It would never have made it past season 1 or 2. If it didn't have awesome ratings or the target audience wasn't watching, then it would have been gone on one of those big networks. I wish people would quit whining how horrible it is that Supernatural is on The CW and appreciate the fact that it's still on because of it.

I'm just hoping I'll keep loving Supernatural. I can see that storyline with Dean, Lisa and Ben going one way or the other. One way could be really good and the other could really suck and I'll stop liking the show. I just don't know. I don't know what to believe about the upcoming season or if I should believe anything. The writers and actors have all said lots of things and not all of them are going to happen or be true and I know that. It's just driving me crazy and there is still two months to go.

I Don't Care Anymore

I really don't care anymore about anything. I'm so tired of everything. I'm sick of my family and all their dramatic crap. All they want to hear is lies, so that they can feel good about themselves. They can lie to themselves all they want to because I'm tired of it and I'm tired of caring about them. My family thinks that all I care about is Supernatural or my TV shows. I only care about them to escape my family. My family usually causes all my stress and worries. It's very sad when your family are supposed to be the people that support and love you and lift you up when you're depressed and my family is the opposite. All they do is knock me down or try to make me feel like shit. They shove all their problems on me or I end up hearing about all their problems and I can't just ignore them.
I've always used TV shows, music and my books to escape from everything. They usually don't disappoint or depress me. It's funny because John Denver, who I never met in real life saved my life. He saved my life every time I listened to his music. It was like a drug or something. I always believe in myself and the world when I listen to his music. He lifted me up when I was at the lowest point in my life.

Most of my life, I've just wanted to die or be gone. I guess I feel like Sam in Supernatural because sometimes this life is a living hell. I've also felt like I'm a ghost or something. I sometimes wonder if I'm really here. Sometimes people can see me and other times, I'm totally invisible or people pretend they don't see me.

I sometimes wonder if I'm autistic or something because I have a hard time communicating with people. I sometimes wonder why I even try to because it always turns out bad. I'm a quiet person usually and the reason that is, is because what's the point of talking when no one listens or hears what you're saying. You might as well not say anything at all. I thought I'd try message boards and such and try to communicate with people who like the same things I do. They turned out bad just like everything else.

I'm starting to wonder about computers and the internet and how evil they really are. It seems like since I got my computer that I've gotten into more fights with my family and other people. I guess that's just because I started to tell people things they don't want to hear. People just want you to lie to them or tell half truths or tell them what they want to hear or you should agree with them and not have your own opinion.

I guess I should just stop communicating or trying to and go back to living in my fantasyland. I wish that I could. I don't have a good feeling about Supernatural for this upcoming season and I'm hoping that I don't end up hating it even or wishing it had ended at season 5. I need to lose myself in something right now. I've been watching some of my old shows that I used to love, like Emergency. I've also been reading some really good books and trying to spend more time reading and less time on the computer. I'm reading a really awesome vampire book that doesn't romantize vampires, but keeps them as evil creatures that need to be destroyed not loved. I haven't even wrote anything more on my Supernatural story. I just can't seem to concentrate on it with all that's been going on.

I don't care what anyone in my family does next because I'm sick of caring. They can do whatever they want to and I hope they don't tell me about it because I just don't want to hear it anymore. Ignorance is bliss. They probably won't talk to me and that's just fine with me because I'm sick of hearing about all their petty problems that they create for themselves and then whine about it and cry that someone ruined their lives. I wish they'd take responsibility for their own choices they make in life and quit blaming other people already. When I choose to do something and it turns out wrong, I look in the mirror and that's the person I blame. Myself and no one else. I choose what I do and if I choose wrong, I own up to it and I don't blame others.

WOW! for not caring, I've sure posted a lot on the subject, but there's nowhere else to go and no one to talk to, so I get to put this all down here. There's no point anymore trying to connect to people. I don't think I'll even try to again. I've been alone for 41 years, but I've never been lonely because I have myself.

Pics From My D.C. Trip and What A Trip It Was

It's been over a week since I've been home from my vacation to D.C. I had a good time and it was nice to see all the history that I did. I've been too lazy to come on my blog and I've been busy doing other things.
While I enjoyed my time in D.C. it's been a whole other story coming home. I went with two people who I thought I knew, but they are little more than strangers to me now. I don't even know who they are and I don't want to know anymore. One of them was my own sister who I used to idolize and love more than anyone in the whole world. Now I found out what kind of person she is and I don't even want to be around her. Obviously she feels the same way about me. On the trip, there were how many times when she basically pretended that I wasn't even there. Like I wasn't good enough or she didn't want to be associated with me or something. I sometimes wonder if my sister wishes she had another family altogether. I kind of wish she had that family too because I'll never live up to her expectations and I'll never try. The other person on the trip has been a friend of mine and at one time I even thought of her as my sister and now I don't. I don't even want her for a friend. The best and only person on the whole trip that made me happy was my former friends little girl. She's so sweet and loving and full of energy. She made me laugh and she treated me like I was family, even though I'm not to her. I love her, but I doubt I'll ever get close to her again.
It seems to me like I was just asked on this trip to help my sister with the expenses. First she told me that I wouldn't have to pay any money for the hotel and I gave her a 100 dollars anyway. I gave her extra money for extra costs and everything and then she acts like I didn't pay for anything or something. I even bought their dinner one night, but I guess I was a bitch for doing that.
I will never go on another trip again with these people and that's fine with me. I'll miss my friend's little girl, but not the rest of them. I should've learned my lesson long ago, but I guess I'm just stupid and I believed in my sister.
The Supernatural Convention in New Jersey was at the same time as this trip and sometimes I wish I could've went to it instead. I loved seeing D.C. and going back East because I've never been. I saw so much stuff and I am grateful that I did get to see it and it was because of my sister, but maybe if I go somewhere like this again, I'll go alone or with people who can accept me for who I am, not who they want me to be.

Washington D.C. Is Awesome

I'm here in D.C. and it's been great so far. I got back from a monument tour just a little while ago. I went to visit how many memorials. It's sad when you see all the men and women who have died to keep our country free and to help the world.My father was in the Korean War and my uncles have been in how many of the wars. I think Sam and Dean are heroes on Supernatural, but they are fictional and these people were real heroes, who lost their lives by saving and fighting for real people. It's great to see the nation's capital and I saw the white house where my big boss works. It was very interesting, of course, I didn't see him, but would I even want to. I'm not a big american history buff, but it's been great seeing all this history. I'm sure that I'll see even more things tomorrow.

Life Unexpected

Life Unexpected was a pleasant surprise for me. I really didn't think I'd like it all that much and I decided to give it a try and I found out that I loved it. I love all the characters on the show, but especially Ryan and Cate. Kerr Smith is one of my favorite actors and it's nice to see him on an excellent show with great writing and a good storyline. I loved his character Jack on Dawson's Creek and Kerr was totally awesome in My Bloody Valentine.
It's funny because usually when I watch a show like this, I end up hating a character because someone always get left out in the cold. There's a little love triangle between Ryan/Cate and Baze. I don't hate any of them. I actually like Baze, but I don't want him to be with Cate because she's with Ryan. If she hadn't have been with Ryan, then I could have seen her with Baze. It's crazy. I love to watch and see what will happen next between them all. Then you have Lux and her friends and boyfriend Bug. I like Lux and how her and Cate and Baze are becoming a family again. It's interesting with Ryan thrown in the mix.

I loved the first season finale because it made me cry and feel for all the characters. I loved that Ryan and Cate ended up getting married, but you felt bad for Baze too. I love Ryan's character because he told Lux that if she didn't want him to marry Cate then he wouldn't. He left it up to her and let her decide. Just the fact that he'd sacrifice his own happiness to make her happy, made me love him even more. Now that's one unselfish person. I think he's better for Cate then Baze because Baze still has some growing up to do.

I'm glad that the show is sticking around for season 2. I was really worried. Usually the new shows that I start watching get cancelled for one reason or another, so I'm glad this one didn't and that it's done well. It will be nice to watch it with my other favorite show One Tree Hill. They fit together because they're both kind of about family and I love to watch these shows because they make you feel good.