Captives Wasn't That Captivating

I thought that after watching Purged, Supernatural was going to get better. I was wrong. It got worse. I still can't stand all that angel crap. I hate the angels on Supernatural. There are so many reasons why. I hate that they punch each other and use violence when they have powers. They have all kinds of powers at their disposal and they act more like humans than humans do. Plus, I can't stand how there are a ton of factions. I still don't understand what is going on and I doubt I ever will. I think the angel crap is just around to give Castiel a story because otherwise his character would be of no use anymore.
Now on to the dumb episode. Now are the writers going to bring back every dead person as a ghost or just the ones fans snivel to see again. I liked Kevin, but please let him die and stay dead just like Bobby. I never did like Mama Tran, so I could have done without seeing her again.
This episode was like watching two separate shows and it didn't even feel like I was watching Supernatural. It felt like Sam and Dean were guest starring on some other show. This episode was just one big long snooze fest and it probably cured me again of my Supernatural addiction. I'll have to wait and see if The Ghostfacer episode is any good. I'm praying it will be.

Now onto Sam and Dean and all the crap that's going on between them. Here's what I think is Sam's problem and why he is still mad at Dean for what he did. I don't think it was just about Dean having an angel possess him to save his life. It was about Dean trusting an angel again over Sam. Dean trusted Gadreel and he had no reason to. You'd think after how much time, Dean would never trust an angel again, but he trusted one and that probably hurt Sam. Because it seems that Dean will never trust Sam again. Why? Because how long ago he lied about Ruby and went off with her. Dean has never let any of that go and it seems like he'll never forgive Sam for it. I still can't stand Dean for saying all that crap that Sam should confess like losing his soul. How the hell was that Sam's fault? It's like Dean will never trust Sam no matter what. Dean even trusts Crowley over Sam.
Another thing Sam is probably mad about. He suffered for how many months during those trials, so they could close hell and then it was all for nothing. And it was like Sarah and how many of the other people Crowley killed died for no reason at all. Sam is probably mad at himself for stopping and choosing Dean over closing hell and finishing the trials. How many people will probably die because of it and that will be all on Sam?

And onto the crap about Sam while darling Dean was in Purgatory. I've said this before and I'm going to say it again. Why did every demon, angel and monster leave Sam totally alone for a whole year? You'd think that Crowley or the angels would have keep tabs on what he was doing. And I blame the writers for dropping the whole thing and ending it how quick because fans sniveled. I hated Amelia, but I wish the writers would have explained things. Not Sam just went and lived a normal life, but then came back after a year of normal life and was not rusty hunting at all. And it was like Sam had never stopped hunting. The cabin did not look as if it had sat for a whole year without anyone being there. And why did Sam return to the cabin right after Dean got out of Purgatory. And why did Amelia's husband return as well. The writers just dropped the story and made it look like Sam didn't even bother to look for Dean. Just thinking about that episode where Crowley had Kevin locked up and was scrubbing his short term memory and having those demons looking like Sam and Dean made me think. Who knows if something like that didn't happen with Sam? Amelia might have been a real person that Sam met after he hit the dog and she was what they used to make him think he was having a relationship and that everything was real to keep him out of the way.
Or for all we know, Sam could have been doing anything for either the angels or demons and they replaced his real memories with memories of a normal life. Look how Zachariah made Sam and Dean think they were other people and they were living normal lives for how long. Maybe that's what Naomi did to Sam. It's funny that Dean never did meet Amelia and no one but Sam had contact with her.
I love how everyone thinks Sam would have been able to find out where Dean went on his own. Even if he knew Dean was in Purgatory, how was he to get him out. Naomi said how many angels died to get Castiel out. So, Sam was supposed to just find some way to get Dean.
It makes me wonder if Carver and Co decided to stretch things out with the whole Sam left Dean in Purgatory to make fans dislike Sam and then we'll find out what really happened. Doubt it. I must be dreaming again because I doubt Carver and Co even know what they're doing or what they are writing. And I doubt we'll ever know one way or the other if what happened was real or not.

I wonder if some fans have even read the story of Cain and Abel. It's very interesting. It's funny that Dean probably trusted Cain to tell the truth and he'd trust Cain over Sam as well. I'm hoping for some interesting stuff with that Mark of Cain. And hopefully the writers actually can come up with something surprising for the end of the season instead of more crap. Now I wonder if either Sam or Dean  is going to be killed and they'll end up in the veil for the season ending. And next season we'll wonder how they are going to get out of the veil and I'm sure they'll meet up with all kinds of people they know there.
Whatever.

I Love Books

I just love books. They are just like music, TV shows and movies. They are all my favorite drugs. I never can get enough of them. Books take me places that only people can dream about. I would love to be able to write a novel. That's something I've always wanted to do. I can barely write stupid spoofs and really short stories, so I doubt I'll ever be able to write a novel. And when I do go to try and write something, most of the time I can't get what is in my head to come out the right way. I have a ton of great ideas for a novel, but that's about it.
I love to read and I'm glad that I'm able to do that, even though I can't write something for others to read. I love all my favorite authors. I just finished reading White Fire by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child. I loved it and read it how fast. Usually, I have three to five books going at once and read how many chapters of each, but when a really great book comes along, I read it straight through and the others can wait. I love the Pendergast novels by Preston and Child and Pendergast is my favorite fictional character from any book I've ever read.
I've been reading more lately and watching less TV. TV can only give you so much. I love to read books because then I can imagine the characters as anyone I want them to be. Books have longer stories and sometimes better ones. I love reading series. I've recently read all the Infernal Devices and Mortal Instrument books by Cassandra Clare. I love all the characters in these books and the books were awesome. I love reading Erin Hunter who writes all the Warriors, Seekers, and Survivors books. They are about cats, bears and dogs. I love them even if they are written for young adults. I love a lot of young adult series. There are so many good ones out there.
I can never get enough of the Stephanie Plum books written by Janet Evanovich. I hope she keeps writing them for how much longer. Plus I love her other series that she's started.
I've read over four thousand books since I graduated from High School. I like to write them down just so I know what I've read and how many I've read. I try to read about 100 or more books a year.
I love reading books that are from and based on TV shows. Some of the shows I watch and I read the books as well. Others, I read the books, but have never watched the shows. I recently finished reading the first Grimm novel. It was pretty good and now I'm reading Fringe. I've never watched either of these shows. I used to read all the Alias books, CSI, CSI:Miami and CSI:NY and I never watched any of those shows, but I loved every book I read. I loved reading the Supernatural books, but it looks like no more are going to be written. I'm still reading Star Trek and Star Wars books. I just finished reading Kenobi. I love that Star Wars and Star Trek have lasted this long. They've gone on in books and I love that. Sometimes things don't have to end when the shows and movie are done and over. I remember as a kid thinking up plots and stories for Luke, Leia and Han and I never imagined that now I'd be reading other people's stories about them. I just wish I could have been a good writer because I could have written one of my stories down for others to read and enjoy.
Well that's all for now.

Thor & Loki, SPN Spin-Off And Ships

My Sammo is now Thor and he found his brother Loki. I love Happy Baby because they have these cute costumes. I'm still sad about Pet Society and there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about it or my little Sammy. At least, I have this game and Pet City to play. I can't wait for the DVD of Thor:The Dark World to come out. It will sit in my DVD player for a very long time. I saw it twelve times in the theaters and I'll probably watch it more times than that once I have my own copy to watch.

I just saw who was going to be in that new SPN spin-off. I love that guy Nate who played Kol in Vampire Diaries. I just wish he was going to be on The Originals and not this spin-off. I don't think I'm going to care for this spin-off at all. I'll only give it a try for Nate and that's it. I don't think this spin-off is going to do as well as The Originals. Why? First they are introducing totally new characters that we've never seen before and who cares if they introduce them in a Supernatural episode. I might like them or I won't. If I don't like the characters when they appear on Supernatural, then I will not watch the spin-off at all. The Originals has done well because they took popular characters from Vampire Diaries and put them on their own show with new cast members. Klaus and Elijah appeared in the second season of Vampire Diaries and they already had a ton of fans to follow them. As well as Rebekah and Hayley.
I think a lot of loyal fans of Supernatural will watch the spin-off just because. Otherwise, I think the show is not going to do well at all. It might, but it will all depend on the writing and the other cast members. Just seeing what the show is about, does not inspire me to want to watch it. Now if Sam went to the new spin-off then I'd probably watch just to see him. I would not mind seeing Sam without Dean any more. They could leave Dean on Supernatural with his lover Castiel and his other better brother Benny.

And onto those stupid ships. I remember when I went on the message boards on The CW site four or five years ago. I used to think it was cute that people made one name out of two characters names. I guess I didn't really get it then. I remember how many idiots fighting over who should be with Clark. Lana or Lois. And the idiots that are shipping characters that are not even couples, nor will they ever be couples. When you ship Sam and Ezekiel. That's just stupid. I love reading stuff on Facebook and other sites about these stupid ships. I love how some fan said that they cut the scenes out of Supernatural that had Castiel telling Dean he loved him. That was the gag reel, not a cut scene. They were joking around. It wasn't serious. I guess some fans don't understand what a gag reel is, nor do they understand when they are being made fun of. It kills me. I'm just tired of idiots fighting each other and whining and sniveling that they want this ship or that ship on the show. If they are not together, then they will stop watching. No, they will not. They will just keep watching and sniveling. I do think writers of how many of the shows are constantly trying to please some of these idiots that go nuts over these ships.
I personally love shows, so I guess I ship the whole show and I love almost all the characters on some of the shows I watch. So I'd need to combine all their names together to come up with one big ship. Not. I think some of these nutty fans are actually helping to destroy shows and not help them. Whatever.

Dean Winchester's Diary Continued

Dear Diary,
Sammy and I just got back from a hunt. Sammy is mad at me again because I called Cas to come and heal him after he was knocked unconscious again. It seems like Sammy gets beaten on the head all the time and knocked unconscious a lot. I asked Cas if Sam has brain damage, but Cas assured me that he doesn't. I was hoping Sammy had brain damage because that could be the only reason he's still mad at me. He still hasn't thanked me for saving his life and now he didn't thank me for saving him yet again today.
He's so damn stubborn sometimes.
I really miss my buddy Benny. Sammy still hasn't thanked me for killing Benny to save him. Benny who had been a better brother than Sammy ever could be. Benny always had my back and my front while we were in Purgatory. He never let me down and whenever I cried, he would gently hold me in his strong and loving arms. I really miss Purgatory sometimes because it was so pure there. It was fighting and killing all day and Benny's warm arms holding me all night. I kept Benny's bones, but I never told Sammy that I hid them under my bed. I want Benny to be close to me always. If for some reason I have to kill Sammy then I can just go to Purgatory and get Benny back. Then it will be me, Benny and Cas again like it was in Purgatory. Sure, Cas tried to stay away from me there for my own good, but I know he loves and needs me. That's what I love about both Benny and Cas, they need me. Sammy just doesn't seem to need me anymore. He'd probably rather find some girl to shack up with like he shacked up with that girl while I was in Purgatory. I still can't believe that he did nothing to try and find me. He got himself a dog and a girl and just made me disappear like I was nothing to him. I keep forgetting the name of that girl he was with while I was gone. I think her name started with an A, but I'm not sure. I didn't even meet her, nor do I care to ever meet her or get to know who she was. Sammy says she was human, but who knows what she really was. She probably was another demon that he had the hots for. I have to make sure now that Sammy doesn't hook up with any more girls. He has no sense when it comes to girls at all because he somehow always hooks up with monsters or demons.
I'm sad Cas didn't stick around after healing Sammy because it would have been nice to go out with him somewhere to get a drink. Sammy won't even have a beer with me anymore because he's still so mad at me. I hope he'll get over himself soon and realize I do everything I do just for him. Everything and my whole life is just for him. All for Sammy.

Dean Winchester's Diary

Dear Diary,
I can't believe that my little brother Sammy would not do anything to save me. I would do anything to save his life and I have. I went to Hell and suffered so that he could be alive and what did he do. He slept with a demon and sucked her blood and used his demonic powers to send demons back to Hell. Then he started to kill demons with his demonic powers. I still can't believe he did that when I sacrificed my very soul for his life. Then he went and killed Lilith and started the apocalypse and I just didn't have the strength to stop him. He was so hopped up on demon blood that he wouldn't listen to a word I said. I even called him on his cell and tried to reason with him and he just ignored it.
I know Sammy is mad at me right now because I tricked him into being possessed by an angel, but what was I supposed to do. Let him die. Let my little Sammy die. I just couldn't do it. Sammy needed to live and that damn angel went and tricked me. How was I to know that angel was lying to me and pretending to be Ezekiel? How was I to know that he would kill my other little brother Kevin. Kevin who had become a part of my family. Kevin who was translating the angel tablet for me. I can still see him laying there on the floor with his eyes burned out. I know it's all my fault and I will hunt down and kill that lying angel Gadreel. That's who was really in my brother for months. Then he tried to take over my brother's body permanently and I had to have Crowley possess Sammy and save him. So Sammy was possessed by a lying, rotten and killing angel and the King Of Hell for a short time. That's no reason to be mad at me. I had to make those decisions and I did them all for Sammy. Everything I have done has all been for Sammy. My whole life is all for Sammy.
I just don't know why Sammy is still mad at me. I told him that everything is all on me and that I would find and kill Gadreel, but he doesn't seem to care. Sure, I left right after seeing my little Sammy poked in the head with pins and possessed by an angel and a demon, but I left him in the good hands of my brother Castiel. Sure, Castiel has betrayed me and he's hurt Sammy, but I knew he would be safe and that Castiel would heal him and take care of him. I just had to go and get that dirty angel Gadreel. Okay, sure I ended up in a bar and ended up working with Crowley. Crowley tricked me again and now I have the mark of Cain on me. I don't know what's going to happen now and Sammy still is mad at me and he told me he would not save me like I save him. I still can't believe he said that. I've been crying and crying. I've drank a ton of booze to drown all the pain of knowing that my little brother who has been my life would not save me.
All I want out of this crappy life is to be with Sammy beside me in the Impala. He's the only family I have left, even though I think of Castiel as family too. Sammy is blood and I want my Sammy to always be with me.
I've been reading about this mark on my arm and I'm getting kind of scared. I hope that I don't ever have to kill Sammy. But, if someone has to kill my brother, then it's going to be me and only me. I'll kill him because I love him.
Oh! crap. I think I need to run to the liquor store. I'm out of hunter's helper and I really need to numb this pain in my heart and soul. I'm tired of crying all the time and trying to hide it from Sammy. Now that we're back in the bunker together, I have to hide all the tears and pain and be strong. I have to be the strong brother for Sammy. Sammy depends on me and I can't let him down. Daddy's words always ring in my head to take care of Sammy. I always have and I always will. I'll save him or I'll kill him and it will all be for him. All for Sammy.

Tom Hunny And Bunny

I saw this pic on Facebook and I just love it. I love Tom Hiddleston and I can't wait for Only Lovers Left Alive to come out in theaters. Too bad it will not be out for my Birthday. That would have been a great present. I can't believe that Jim Beaver is going to be in Crimson Peak with Tom and they're filming that movie right now. It will be nice to see Jim again in something else besides Supernatural.

I spent another day thinking about Supernatural, but I mainly laughed about it. I was listening to Cassadee Pope's song, Wasting All These Tears and all I could think about was Dean laying curled up on a bathroom floor with a bottle of booze in his hand crying. I laughed so hard and then I pictured him crying and saying why doesn't Sammy love me enough to shove an angel and the king of hell up my ass.
Then I was listening to one of Clay Aiken's songs and thinking about Sam and Dean and I started laughing again because I pictured Dean singing the song to Sammy. And there is a certain line in the song about angels and that's what really killed me. I had to turn the song off because I couldn't stop laughing and I had to concentrate on my work.
I saw that Supernatural has been renewed for season 10. I guess that means we will probably see Dean going to Mars or something like that. Then when he comes back, he'll cry to Sam and snivel about Sam not getting a spaceship and coming to find him and leaving him all alone to suffer with some Martians. He'll find a new Martian buddy to be his new brother and tell Sam that he's a better brother than Sam will ever be because he helped Dean find his way back to Earth.

Short post, but I'm tired of typing.

Sacrifice

: the act of giving up something that you want to keep especially in order to get or do something else or to help someone

I copied down this definition of sacrifice because I was thinking about Supernatural all day at work. I love how some fans say that Sam does not sacrifice anything for Dean. That's the biggest joke ever. Sam has sacrificed what he always wanted and that was a normal life. He's been constantly sacrificing that since he got in the car with Dean and he keeps sacrificing it over and over again for Dean. That should prove how much he loves Dean, that he gave up what he most wanted in life. When Dean disappeared to Purgatory with Castiel, Sam tried again because Dean was gone. Sam didn't know where he had gone and Crowley didn't tell Sam where Dean had gone or if he was even still alive. Sam had no way of knowing that Dean was in Purgatory and even if he had found out where Dean had gone, how would he have gotten him out. Should he have went to Crowley and made some deal or worse. Then, Dean would have been mad at him for that. As for Kevin, when did he become Sam and Dean's responsibility, when Dean decided he was. Kevin was not Sam's family, nor did Sam know him for that long, so why should Sam have been responsible to find him. And Dean did not sacrifice himself to go to Purgatory for Sam. Dean did not even care what would happen when he killed Dick because all he was thinking about was getting revenge on Dick for Bobby.
I love how fans think that if Sam feels a certain way then he should leave Dean. Like Sam doesn't want to be brothers with Dean. All Sam wants Dean to do, is to stop sacrificing other people for him.
I love how fans say that Dean is willing to sacrifice his life for Sam. Wow! What a big sacrifice. Seeing how Dean thinks of himself as worthless. That's not much of a sacrifice to make. Dean did not sacrifice his life for Sam's when he made that deal to bring Sam back to life. Sam didn't ask to be brought back from the dead. And what did Sam get by Dean selling his soul and going to Hell. Hell on Earth and knowing his brother was suffering in Hell. And since that deal Dean made to bring Sam back to life, how great has Sam's life been. He hasn't been happy nor has he been able to live the life that he wanted, except for that time with Amelia and who knows how happy it really was or not. I don't think Sam was all that happy even with her, whether it was real or not. I'm still going to think of it all happening in Sam's head and leave it at that. Because the writers never did let you know for sure one way or the other. It's funny that Sam spent a year living a normal life, but was not rusty hunting again, but Dean on the other hand who spent his whole life hunting, spent a normal year and was rusty.

I was thinking about when Sam told Dean that he sees light at the end of the tunnel. It meant that Sam saw hope and maybe hope that one day, both him and Dean would be finally able to stop hunting and have normal lives. Or that maybe they would find peace somehow. Sam's peace could have come with death or not. I think Sam was willing to sacrifice himself by finishing the trials so that Hell could be closed and maybe Dean would be able to finally find something for himself. Something more than just hunting. You know that Dean probably does want a normal life himself, but he's always thought of himself as a killer and thinks that's all he'll ever be. He's said that plenty of times. Plus he probably doesn't think he deserves a normal life.

It's funny to me that Dean thinks he's the only one in the world capable of saving people and he has to save everyone. Like that's his job and his job only, but then he pulls Sam into it as well and makes him feel guilty about not caring to save everyone. Like it's their job and their job only. Like there are not other hunters and other people out there saving lives. Maybe Dean feels this way because of what he did by selling his soul to bring Sam back because he broke that first seal that started everything. Dean is the one that was responsible for starting the apocalypse because he could not let Sam go. Dean was racked with guilt when Castiel told him.

I don't care anymore how other Sam fans feel about Sam. If they want to think the worst of him because he tells Dean what he needs to hear, then fine. Or they think he's a bad brother because he would not do anything to save Dean and save him for what. To live his worthless life because Dean doesn't think of his life as worth that much. It's like Dean is programmed or something to think he needs to save family, especially Sam. Sam tried to save Dean's life when he sacrificed his for the world. He wanted Dean saved, not to hunt and think he was worthless, but to have Lisa and Ben and be loved.
What is the point of saving someones life, when that someone is dying inside emotionally.
I also love the fans who constantly bring up John and how he told to take care of Sammy and that's all Dean heard growing up and it was drilled into his head. Most of the time it appears that John wasn't around, so how was he constantly telling Dean that. Yes and Dean really took care of Sam and protected him Like when that one monster almost sucked out his soul while Dean went to play video games. Who knows how many times Dean left Sam alone when he was little? We know Dean dumped Sam at Plucky's and went to go pick up on chicks. I bet by the time Sam was a teenager, he was basically taking care of himself. How many times did Dean and John go on hunts and Sam was all alone. I love how in Bad Boys, Dean spent their food money gambling, so he was really taking care of Sammy alright. And I love that dumb scene at the end where Dean is looking out at the car and sees Sam and decides to leave instead of staying for a while because he thought Sam needed him. Now, I would have believed that scene if Dean would have come out and Sam would have yelled Dean and jumped out of the car or something. Sam probably would not have cared if Dean had stayed longer and it wouldn't have been because he doesn't love or care about him. Dean was a teenager at that point and Sam was still a kid.

I think that's all for now and for a while. I hope I got everything out of my system. I think I just have to much time to think at work doing the work I'm doing. It's so monotonous, that I can think about a lot of stuff. I'm sure some of it came out not the way I wanted it to. I can think of a lot of stuff and then when I go to type it down, it disappears and I can't find the right words.

I've Fallen Again

No. I have not fallen in love with Supernatural again. And no, I do not love Dean again. But, I think I gave into my addiction once again. I just hope to hell that I don't overdose. I can't handle that.
I can't believe that all it took for me to fall off the Supernatural wagon was Dean in some ugly hairnet and Sam in a tank top. I swear Dean was so stupid looking that I couldn't stop laughing. I just go back and watch Purged to see those scenes so I can laugh. I guess if Dean had never been a hunter, he would have made a great kitchen helper.
I've been thinking about what could happen again like some stupid idiot. I've also been wondering about that grace that was left inside Sam. Did Castiel pull it all out? I don't think he did or Sam would have died. As for Dean and his beauty mark. Dean has always wanted to kill Sam and maybe this time around, he'll be able to. Now wouldn't that be a great season finale. Dean finally killing Sam like he's always wanted to. Someone brought up how Dean would kill Sam to save people. I wonder when Sam has ever been a threat to anyone, but demons and monsters. Dean on the other hand has been a threat to the world how many times now. I love how Castiel took the angel tablet and said that he was keeping it safe from Naomi and Dean. That was interesting.
When Sam was drinking demon blood, it wasn't like he was going around killing people for the fun of it. He drank their blood and he pulled the demons out of how many people. Plus he killed demons to save people's lives like when he killed Samhain or when he killed Famine. Sam wanted to kill Lilith, but he never knew she was the last seal or he never would have killed her. Dean didn't even know and the only reason he didn't want Sam to go after her was because he didn't think Sam could kill her not that he knew she was the last seal. The only thing Sam did when he drank demon blood was try to save people, but I guess that was wrong of him. He didn't try to save that nurse he sucked dry who was possessed by a demon. Even if he killed her, how was she any different from all the other demons both Sam and Dean have killed. What, because she cried for a minute and that could have been the demon pretending. Dean kills demons and he could give a crap less who they're possessing, even if those people are good or bad.
And Dean wanted to kill Sam when he was soulless. Why? Because Sam was acting just like Dean and Dean even admitted that. Soulless Sam could have saved countless people in the time that he was hunting, but no one cares about that because some innocent people died in the crossfire, but don't innocent people die all the time when Sam and Dean are hunting together and Dean doesn't seem to worry about them. Or all the other hunters out there that get the monster at whatever the cost. I love how they took out that scene in Clip Show where Dean said some good people have to die for the greater good. So even if some people died as collateral damage while Soulless Sam was hunting, then they died for the greater good. Maybe Soulless Sam prevented a lot more deaths by one or two people dying. All we got to see was one hunt that Sam and Samuel did and that one, even Dean could have screwed up. As for Bobby. Soulless Sam was only going to kill him because he didn't want Dean to restore his soul, so if Dean had not gone off to do that and been so persistant, Bobby would have been fine. Soulless Sam had no reason to kill Bobby except that he wanted to stay in charge of Sam's body. It's funny that Dean was only worried about Soulless Sam killing people and that's why he wanted Sam's soul restored, not that Sam's soul was suffering down in hell. Then Dean really didn't care what would happen to Sam once his soul was restored. Dean has wanted to kill Sam because he's afraid Sam will turn into a monster or that he is one, but mabye if Dean looked in the mirror, he'd see the real monster.

I love Eric Charmelo and Nicole Snyder and I'm mad at them because they sucked me back in and made me fall again. If Robbie Thompson writes any more episodes this season and I watch them, he just might cure me of my addiction again, but I won't thank him for it.

Sam Vs. Dean

I went back to watch a few episodes of Supernatural from season 7 and 8. They were very interesting and I paid close attention to certain things concerning Sam and Dean's relationship.
I love how Dean basically told Sam that Benny was a better brother than Sam will ever be. Like that wasn't the biggest punch in Sam's face ever next to Dean throwing the amulet in the trash. Dean has basically tried to find another brother to replace Sam. First it was Castiel, then it was Benny. I love how in season 4, Dean whined about Sam choosing a demon over him, but Dean chose an angel over Sam. Dean believed almost everything Castiel ever told and Castiel was busy deceiving him. Castiel let Sam out of the panic room, but Dean thinks Sam made a choice on his own to go off with Ruby and start the apocalypse. I love how Castiel has never taken any blame for the part he played in the apocalypse and he played a very big one by releasing Sam and letting him out of the panic room. If Castiel had never done that, then how could Sam have gotten out on his own to make the choice he did. Same as when Sam went to hell and was in the cage with Michael and Lucifer and Castiel pulled him out without his soul. It's funny that Dean never really blames Castiel for hurting Sam so much and Castiel has done it so many times. Dean just always wants to blame Sam.
I love how a lot of fans seem to think the trials to close Hell were Metatron's trick and they were not real. The angel trials Castiel was doing were not trials, but a spell. Kevin translated the tablets and they were supposed to be the word of God that Metatron wrote down and I doubt he purposely wrote down a trick with God there telling him what to write. Kevin translated the Leviathan and the Demon tablet, but he didn't get to translate all of the angel one and that's how Metatron was able to lie to Castiel and trick him. The Leviathan tablet was right and Kevin translated a lot of stuff from the demon one that he used himself and then it took him how long to translate the trials, so I hardly doubt they were not real. As to whether Sam would live or die after he finished the trials, who knows. You only had Naomi's word that Sam would die, so who knows whether he would have or not once they were finished. Dean just believed and ran off to stop Sam because he didn't have any faith in Sam or God at all. Maybe once Sam finished the trials, he would have died, but been resurrected or something. Who knows? And just the way Dean talked to Sam in that church like he was trying to talk Sam down from some drug high or something and talk Sam out of killing someone. And Dean saying all that crap about putting Sam before everything. What a joke? He just told Sam that to stop him from finishing the trials. It's like whatever it took to stop Sam, he would do.
I love how Dean keeps telling Sam that he killed Benny for him. Wow! What a sacrifice that was. Not. Dean kept Benny's bones to leave the door open for him. Meaning, Dean could go to Purgatory and carry out Benny's soul and Benny would live again. So how did Dean choose Sam over Benny. Castiel has come back to life multiple times now, so Dean would never have to worry about him dying. It's funny that Benny and Castiel are both supernatural creatures, but when Sam had his powers, Dean looked at him like he was some monster, but he never looked at Castiel and Benny that way. Sam is supposed to be human and if he's something more than that, then he's a monster.
I watched The Born Again Identity and just the parts with Sam. Even when Sam was suffering, he wanted to help that girl with her dead brothers spirit. Her brother wanted her dead to be with him. It made me think about Dean. Dean wants Sam to always be with him. When Dean was in Hell and crying out for Sam, he probably wished not that Sam would save him, but that Sam would be there with him in Hell. Dean only wants Sam to be with him in the car and hunting. Misery loves company and that's all Dean wants Sam to be around for. His company. He doesn't ever listen to Sam or even care what Sam wants. Sam should only want to hunt and be with him and if he doesn't want that, then he's a bad brother.
I love how Sam was the one who was constantly being lied to for months and being possessed by an angel without his knowledge, but poor Dean is the injured party. Like who gives a crap how Sam feels about what happened to him, Dean sure didn't give a crap about what he did to Sam and about lying to him. If Dean put Sam above everything all the time, then why did he run off to go and get revenge on Gadreel. He should have stayed to make sure Sam was okay and not just physically okay, but mentally okay as well by all that happened to him. And it's not like Sam told him to get the hell away from him. He just said he was pissed and Dean left, probably because he was so full of guilt.
I love how Dean now wants to get revenge and kill Gadreel. Why? Because he killed Kevin, but how many people did he save. Gadreel saved Sam, not Dean. Dean just called out for an angel, he didn't actually save Sam in any way. Gadreel supposedly healed Sam, but did Gadreel lie about being injured in the fall or was he injured and being in Sam helped to heal him. Gadreel sure had a lot of power for an injured angel. And it's funny that Gadreel had been in Sam for how long and Sam was only getting worse until right before Gadreel killed Kevin. Gadreel saved Castiel's life and that stupid Charlie's life, but now he deserves to die because he betrayed Saint Dean. I love how Dean just trusted Gadreel. He probably trusted him more than he trusted Sam and then Dean wonders why Sam feels the way he does. Dean has trusted Castiel, Benny and now Gadreel more than he ever trusted and believed in Sam.
I've no doubt that Sam loves Dean, but maybe Sam is tired of Dean always trusting someone else over him all the time. It's not like Sam is lying to Dean all the time like Dean constantly lies to Sam.
And Dean. What does Dean want to save Sam( his rotten little brother who always lets him down and makes all the wrong choices) for? Dean just wants to save Sam because maybe he wants Sam to be as miserable as he is. Dean didn't save Sam because he loves him and doesn't want to lose the one person he loves the most. Because if Dean loved Sam, then he'd respect what Sam wants.
I watched Trial And Error where Sam said that he didn't want to die and I believe him, but he didn't want to live, if it was at the cost of other people's lives and that's something Dean does not get. Sam does not want to live knowing that other people are going to die because of him. Didn't he already feel that way when their mother died and Jessica. They died because of Sam and he has to live with that always.
I love how Dean whined about Hell and Purgatory. Like Sam left him to rot in Purgatory. Did Sam even know he was there and if he did, maybe he didn't want to make some deal with Crowley or someone else to get Dean out because it could have cost people their lives and Dean would have been pissed. at him. Dean loved torturing souls in Hell and he said Purgatory was pure. Dean loved Purgatory because he could just kill and not care about killing because it was kill or be killed. Dean turned off his emotions and didn't care.
I love how some fans, especially some Sam fans, don't seem to understand Sam. Like all Sam should ever want is to be with Dean and to hunt with him and that's all he should ever want out of his life. Like that's all his life should be is Dean and only Dean. Dean has said so much crap to put Sam down, that I can't believe that Sam would even want to be around him at all. Dean talks about free will all the time, but most of the time he doesn't seem to think Sam should have any. Or Dean guilts Sam into staying with him or whatever he wants out of Sam. Personally, I think all Dean wants is to be needed by Sam. And if Sam doesn't need him and only him, then Sam is letting him down in some way.
One more thing before I end this long post. In the last couple episodes of this season, Dean has had to save Sam, but maybe Sam hasn't been trying so hard to fight and live. Maybe he didn't care if he died or not and Dean saved him. I haven't heard him calling out for Dean like he did before. In the episode with Garth, Garth and his girlfriend were in danger, so Sam was trying to get free to help them, but in The Purge, maybe Sam didn't try all that hard because he didn't care if he died or not. And of course, Dean came along to save him and Sam never thanked him. Why? Sam didn't care if he died while Castiel was extracting that grace, so he probably still doesn't care. I could be wrong. Who knows? I sure don't. I don't know what those writers will come up with next. I just hope and pray they don't come up with crap

To end this post. Sam vs. Dean or Dean vs. Sam is mainly all in fans heads. The writers to me anyway have not made the show into this, but the fans have. I'd say mostly Dean fans that don't like Sam and never will, will always be against Sam. If Dean loved Sam so much as he says he does, then why do Dean fans hate Sam, if Dean supposedly loves him so much. And that's what Dean fans say. That Dean loves and would do anything for Sam but Sam doesn't love Dean and does nothing for him. Dean supposedly sacrifices for Sam, but I guess Sam has never sacrificed anything for Dean. What a load of crap? I think some fans will hate Sam no matter what he does. I hate Dean because he will never look at what his real problem is and it's not Sam, but himself. I watch Supernatural and Vampire Diaries and compare them and now I love comparing stars. It doesn't matter what Dean does, fans will always say he's right all the time. Even if Sam does the same thing as Dean, he will be wrong or if Dean makes some horrible choice, it will always be right. Same as with Damon on TVD. He can do no wrong no matter what he does. He can do anything and it will always be right because they love him. They actually love Ian and Jensen and some fans can't separate the actor from the fictional character. They actually think they are like their characters on TV and I think they are way way different from the characters they play.
Well that was really long, but I needed to purge again LOL

Purged Is Right

I guess at times when you've lost all hope, a surprise comes totally out of the blue and makes you believe again. I watched Supernatural tonight mainly for Jared. I love him and I hope he's okay with all the crap that idiots are saying about him. I hope he just ignores it and keeps doing what he does because he's one of the best actors ever. Maybe he hasn't won a stupid academy award or he's not some big name star, but he is a wonderful person and that's what matters. And when I watch him, he makes me feel happy.
Now on to the episode. This was the best episode of Supernatural I've seen in almost two years. Why? Finally we got to know what Sam was thinking and so did Dean. I love how Dean goes on and on about wanting Sam to have a life and have a wife someday and kids, but still either hunt or be a Man Of Letters. When is Sam supposed to do this? When he's like fifty or sixty years old. Dean sold his soul to bring Sam back from the dead in season 2, but he didn't give a crap how that was going to affect Sam. All he cared about was losing his little brother. Then the whole year before Dean went to Hell, he kept telling Sam to let him go, but he didn't care that Sam would be all alone and miss him. Dean just told him to hunt and remember everything he and their father taught him. Then Dean went to hell and sure he suffered for how many years down there, but he also tortured and enjoyed every minute of it.
Then Sam sacrificed himself to save the world by being possessed by Lucifer and all he wanted was for Dean to have a normal life and a family. He didn't want Dean to hunt and be miserable. He wanted him to go to Lisa and Ben and have a good life and Dean was pretty much enjoying it because he sure did miss it. Then when Dean found out Sam didn't have his soul. Dean had to go and get it. He didn't do that for Sam, he did it for himself because he couldn't stand Sam the way he was. Even after Death basically showed him what screwing up the natural order of things would do, Dean did it anyway. He said he was doing it for Sam, but he really did it for himself.
I love how when Sam had his soul back and after Castiel busted the wall in Sam's mind, Dean didn't really care all that much how Sam was suffering. Dean was more worried about Sam turning psycho and killing people. The sad thing is, Sam would rather die than have other people hurt or die because of him. Dean doesn't seem to get that. That's something Sam has to live with now. He has to live with all the people that have died because he lived.
I love how some fans are so sad about Dean losing everyone and even Dean himself sniveled about everyone he loves dying around him. I guess that doesn't happen to Sam, even though he's lost about the same amount of people he's loved and cared about as Dean and maybe more,. It's like Dean thinks he's all alone even when he's with Sam. Like he has to carry everything because Sam will mess it up or something.
Sam has let Dean go. Sam tried to have a life with Amelia when Dean disappeared and was in Purgatory. Sam was able to let Dean go, where Dean wants to cling to Sam.
Something about this episode I found interesting. Dean wanted to kill that lady monster, I can't remember what she was, but he wanted to kill her. Why? Because she gave up her killing brother and let them kill him. Just like with Amy. Amy killed to try and save her son. I wonder how many people Dean would kill or let die to save Sam. Is that why Dean killed Amy, because he saw himself in her and he couldn't stand it. Or maybe it was because she once saved Sam when Dean was not there to do it. If it hadn't have been for Amy, Sam would have been dead as a teenager.
Dean lets certain monsters live, but not others. I guess he only lets the ones he likes live. I also love how Dean says he's going to kill Crowley, but always trusts him, even though he killed how many people that they had saved including Sarah, who Sam liked.
I really love how Dean says how much he loves Sam, but how will Sam ever find someone to love when Dean never lets him get near anyone. And if Sam does, then he's betraying Dean. But Dean, wants Sam to have a life. Dean only wants Sam to hunt with him and that's what he's always wanted since the first season of the show. Sam has wanted a normal life, not a wife and kids and either being a hunter or Man Of Letters, but a normal life without all that. A normal life without the person he loves in danger all the time or if he had kids, their lives constantly being in danger. It wouldn't  matter if he was a hunter or a Man Of Letters, his family would always be in danger.
I just hope the writers don't go and make Sam be a hypocrite at the end of this season or I really will be done with this show. I don't want Sam to try to save Dean's life like Dean tried to save Sam's by taking away Sam's free will. Dean always complains about Sam letting him down or making all the wrong choices, but Dean never looks at all the choices he makes and the consequences that follow.
Hopefully, there will be some more episodes like The Purge. It made me feel like I was watching the old Supernatural again. Anyone who has watched this show since the first season knows that it wasn't all sunshine and roses between Sam and Dean and that's one of the reasons why I loved it. One of my all time favorite scenes was in The Scarecrow when Dean said he would leave Sam's ass and Sam told him that's what he wanted him to do.  I just hope the writers give us more of how Sam thinks and feels. I always wanted to know what Sam told that psychiatrist in Asylum about Dean. There has aways been tension between them from the start and I love seeing it.
I hope and pray my new found hope stays alive for the rest of the season and that the season finale isn't predictable with either Sam or Dean going somewhere again and being separated. I'm getting tired of that. I'd love for something to happen, but something to happen to both of them and not just one or the other. Now that would be a surprise for a change. All I can do is hope and now I have a tiny bit of it.

Whatever

I thought I'd use my new favorite word for the title of this post. I love how people are slamming Jared for stating his opinion about what happened to that other actor that I can't even remember his name. I'll just call him the actor because I didn't know who he was nor do I care. I love how everyone keeps glorifying drug users. Their deaths are so sad and tragic. No they are not. It is stupid and senseless when someone dies from drugs because they didn't have to die from drugs. It was their choice to start taking the drugs and their choice to keep doing the drugs. I don't think they are great, I just think they are druggies. Now that actor is dead and what is so great about it. Nothing. Who cares if he was nominated for awards or even won awards for his acting because I didn't even remember his name. I know he's in the Hunger Games and is that why how many idiots are freaking out about him.
There's been how many singers and actors and actresses dying from drug overdoses and everyone goes crazy and thinks it's sad and that those people were so great. They were not. Someone great would have done something to get a handle on their addiction and overcame it. Not gave in to it to the point of death. Who doesn't know you can die from drugs? Everyone should know.
Robert Downey Jr. is one of my most favorite actors and who knows at what point that he could have died and not been here today. I love him because he came back from his addiction and I'm sure he still has to struggle sometimes with it, but he's gone on to do how many movies and I love him as Ironman. If he had not stopped at some point, he would probably have ended up dead and I would have missed seeing him in how many films. If he would have died from a drug overdose, I would not have thought that he was great. I probably would have said his death was stupid and senseless because it would have been. Doing drugs is stupid.
Whatever
I love Jared for tweeting whatever he wants to and how he feels. He should not have to apologize for it either. I've seen other stars on Twitter saying whatever the hell they want to and mean stuff besides and no one cares what they're saying. I know what Jared meant because dying from a drug overdose is senseless and stupid because it did not have to happen. It could have been prevented. That actor did not have to die and that's the whole point. Now he will be considered a hero because he died of a drug overdose. A hero would have overcome their addiction and not given in to it like he did and they would still be alive and fighting their addiction.
Whatever. I really love that word. I'm not defending Jared because Jared does not need it. I just wanted to state how I feel about it. I hope Jared continues tweeting whatever he feels like and ignores the idiots out there. I ignore them all the time, but sometimes I read their crap for a good laugh.
I personally have addictions, but none that could kill me as quickly as drugs. I'm addicted to gambling and I have to fight to control that all the time. If I ever really gave into it, I'd be broke and somewhere laying in a gutter with nothing. I think about that before I lose control and go crazy and it always helps me.
Whatever. That's the end of this post.