Ragdoll

This is an old poem I wrote long ago as well. I found a whole bunch of poems that I wrote in school or shortly after I graduated and I decided to post a few of them.

They each take me by an arm and pull so tight
I can be shared, there is no need for a fight
All day long they play their game with me
They keep me there so I will never be free

They don't know how much I can be hurt
When they get finished with me, they throw me in the dirt
I lay there all alone and I silently cry
While people look at me as they pass by

Tomorrow is a long ways away
I don't think that I will last another day
Being torn apart rips at my heart
I feel sorry for myself when it's time for them to start

Day after day it is always the same
There is no cause and I have no one to blame
If I could only make them see what they are doing to me
Then perhaps one day friends they might be

Sadness

This is an old poem I wrote long ago when I was a teenager.

Cold and gray all around me as I stood
Too many evil people and hardly any good
Fights and destruction everywhere that you look
And the only love you get, comes from a book
Tears fill your eyes and fall down your face
You put your head down in disgrace
Friends that you trusted in with your life
Have hurt you bad and twisted and stabbed you in the back with a knife
Hardships and pain are the only things you feel
When no one asks you, but they instead steal
The walls that enclose you come tumbling down
People stare at you and think you're a clown
Love is only a word that is spoken
Promises that are made are forever broken
Time to lay down on your bed
Put a pillow underneath your head
And lay there as if you were dead

Sammy And Lucifer

I just had to use this pic of my Sammy and Lucifer for this post. I still miss them every day.
Now on to Supernatural. I never thought it would happen in a million years, but it did. I actually have been enjoying the show again. I loved Just My Imagination and I loved the fall finale. These are the first two episodes in how long that I actually want to watch more than once. Maybe because I love Sam and finally there has been some focus on his character. I wonder who pulled their head out of their ass and finally realized that Supernatural is about both Sam and Dean, not Dean and all his good buddies. I'm not going to hope for anything come next year because usually when the show starts out good, it ends up crappy or vice versa. It was so nice to see Mark Pellegrino playing Lucifer again. I love how stupid fans whine about why Lucifer looks like he does. Maybe only Sam sees him that way and he looks different to Crowley and Rowena. I wonder if Dean would see him as his last vessel as well. Probably. Mark and Jared are so great together and I loved all those scenes so much. I never thought I'd see any more scenes with them together. I hope and pray that there are a couple more.
As for God. I love how Dean doesn't believe God is around, but he prayed to him last year. And then Dean tells Sam not to believe in God. I don't care if Lucifer sent Sam those visions or not. I still think God is around and just seeing how Castiel has come back from the dead time after time. Who has been bringing him back? Who put Sam and Dean on the plane after Lucifer was released in season 5? When Dean threw away his amulet, that was just like he not only gave up on God, but Sam as well. Why should God have cared about helping Dean after he did that? I still wonder about that bright light that protected Sam from Lilith, then again from Samhain and then that same bright light when they were taken out of the church and put on the plane. That all could have been God.
I love how some fans think Amara hasn't done all that much to be considered a threat. She basically almost killed a whole town, has sucked down tons of souls and killed how many people, but she's not a threat or anything that needs to be stopped anytime soon. Maybe that's because Dean is the one bonded to her. If Sam had been bonded to her, she would need to be stopped immediately and Sam would be some evil rotten no good brother for being bonded with her.
And I love how Amara is the darkness. What does Lucifer's name mean? Light bringer or the morning star. Maybe Lucifer is the answer to stopping her. Maybe Lucifer is just lying that he sent Sam those visions. Who knows? I don't think all that much about stuff anymore because I just try to enjoy the show. I've been enjoying it more because it's about what I always loved most, Sam and Dean, not all the other characters. The show can have guest stars, but that's all they should stay as. When you watch the show, it should not be like Sam and Dean are guest on their own show. That's why I hated last year. The focus of the show was more on Castiel, Crowley, Rowena, Charlie, Claire, Jody and how many other guests and Sam and Dean might as well have not even been in the episodes, especially Sam.
Well, that's all for now.

Crimson Peak And The TV Season So Far

It's been a while since I've posted anything and that's because I just haven't felt like writing.
I have gone to Crimson Peak twice now and I love it. And I am currently reading the book because I usually get even more story out of the book than the movie. Sometimes scenes and lines are cut out of the final cut of the movie, but the book still has them. Tom Hiddleston made me go to this movie, but I found that I loved it, even if he had not been in it, I still would have thought it was a great movie. I love Tom and I loved him playing Thomas Sharpe and I will go to almost every movie Tom is in. I can't wait for the movie I Saw The Light just to see him play Hank Williams. I never really liked Hank Williams music, but with Tom singing it, it will be interesting to watch how he plays that part and sings those songs.
Now on to TV so far this season. I've actually enjoyed all the shows I've been watching. I guess I was a little hasty with worrying about Vamp Diaries. It has been pretty good, but it's just not must see TV for me. If I'm able to watch it, I will. If I miss it, sometimes I do not go and watch on Hulu. I love Paul Wesley and Ian Somerhalder and they are the reason I still watch the show when I do. It's kind of sad to see poor Ian asking people to watch the show.
Once Upon A Time, Gotham and The Blacklist are my favorites so far. I have loved all their episodes so far. The only thing that I could do without is all the girl kissing on Gotham. I just try to ignore that crap. I know Barbara is a crazy bi-sexual psycho and I love her character this season, except for the kissing. Last season she was boring as hell and now that she's a villain she's great. I do want to see someone kill her character, though. I guess the show is going more like what happened in the comics. I could care less what happened in the comic books. I hate how writers think that's how shows should have to go. There are tons of different versions of all these comic book characters.
I don't know why I love Shark Tank so much, but I do. Maybe it's just fascinating to me to see so much greed for money. Or people coming up with crazy crap to make money and become rich. I love to see the sharks fighting over deals. I guess that's the best part of the show. When I miss the show, I end up watching it on Hulu over Sleepy Hollow. I've watched the first two episodes of Sleepy Hollow and they've been pretty good, but I missed two of them because I don't have the time to watch how many shows. I did watch the Bones and Sleepy Hollow crossover and it was great. Loved how the characters all interacted with each other. It was funny and entertaining. The writing was great and I loved the story.
Last off is Supernatural. I actually was interested in the first two episodes and they were pretty funny. I at least got a laugh out of them. The third episode came and when I saw that stupid Rowena, I knew it was going to be boring as hell and it was. I turned my TV off and went to bed before I fell asleep in front of the TV. As for the Baby episode. The only good thing in that episode was Baby. I loved seeing Matt Cohen again. I laughed when Dean turned on the windshield wipers and wiped that head off the window, but that was it. I didn't think this episode was great or anything special. It was not epic. I love how Jared said it was going to be like an episode from ten years ago. It wasn't anything close to that. Castiel was not on the show and I don't know why they felt he needed to be in there, even if it was just his voice. I love how Sam disappeared for how long, probably because Jared needed time off. I guess the writers have thought up some new ways for Jared to get time off and Sam to disappear from the show for a long period of time. I love how fans are going on and on how great Robbie Thompson's writing was for this episode. Any fan could have wrote this stupid episode. All he did was have Sam and Dean in some scenes together saying stupid sappy unbelievable crap and fans think it's the greatest thing ever. The sad thing is, every episode should have some meaningful scene between Sam and Dean. Most of the time when I have watched the show, Sam and Dean act more like co-workers than brothers. Dean acts more like a brother to Castiel and Crowley than he does with Sam. That's what is stupid about the whole show. Also, it feels like when I turn Supernatural on, I never know which show it is going to be. Sometimes it feels like how many different shows. That's probably due to the stupid writers. One other thing before I end this post. It's interesting to me that Jared and Jensen who say they love doing the show so much, have never become producers of their own show, so they can make some decisions for their own characters. Most shows that have gone on for a long time, the actors and actresses usually become producers of. Some even write and direct episodes because they love the show so much. I personally don't think Jared is that invested in the show, nor does he care about his character. Jensen still seems invested because he directs and he is in most of the episodes a whole hell of a lot. I wonder how much time Jensen gets off compared to Jared. Jared probably needs more time off so he doesn't get depressed or something and he wants more time with his wife and kids. One wonders how much Jensen even gets to see his wife and child. It seems Jensen has more action scenes and they probably take longer to film. Jared hardly is even in any action scenes.
Well I'm done for now.

Keane - Crystal Ball

Goo Goo Dolls - Iris (Performed by Taylor Mathews)

Salt Lake Comic Con 2015

I wanted to post this how many days ago, but I've been sick. I loved the Comic Con this year. It was great and I'm glad I went Gold this year. Maybe for Fan X or the next Comic Con, I will get VIP.
There was no long line to stand in waiting to get in this year. I'm so glad we got wristbands and everything in the mail and registered online. I'm happy that the Con was more organized this year.  I think they still need more work, though. The longest line I stood in the whole Con was while I was waiting to get my autograph with Ian. I waited a good three hours in that line and how many people didn't even have a paid autograph and they had sold out online. They should have only let people in the line that had already paid for an autograph. And I waited another almost two hours in the photo op line. That was crazy because they gave a time to show up and a group and when I got over there, you just got in a line. There needed to be more organization. And I found out that people had bought photo ops at the Con. They were sold out online and then they sold more at the Con. It was crazy.
Ian was awesome though and it was worth the wait to meet him. I think he took time with every fan because he is such a great guy. He tried to make personal contact with everyone he met. My sister said he had a lot of positive energy and he did. He sure made me feel good after our picture.
I can say I was one of the lucky people who was able to get into the Chris Evans panel. He was only onstage for about 20 minutes and then Anthony Mackie was on for about a half hour. I sat for about four hours for their panel and then Ian's. I guess the last day was equal sitting and standing.
My sister and I stayed down in Salt Lake at a hotel for two nights. It was nice because we didn't have to waste time driving back and forth or looking for somewhere to park every day.
I loved seeing all the people who dressed up because some costumes were great. Others were not so great, but I hope everyone had fun. I wish I would have been able to look around more in the vendors area, but I got a lot of stuff. I even got me two Constantine comics to read.
Out of all the panels I went to, I think Marina Sirtis was the best. I laughed and she was really entertaining. Linda Blair had an interesting panel and she mostly talked about her charity. I love that how many of the stars at this Con love animals and try to help them.
Well that's about all I have to say. It was a great Con and I'm looking forward to Fan X in March and the next Comic Con. Hopefully, more great actors and actresses will come here so that I can finally meet them in person.

John Denver - "Whose Garden Was This"

 This song is sad and I'm sure one day it will be true. This world was once a beautiful garden and just to know everything we are doing to it. We are destroying not just our world but ourselves. I wonder what this world is going to look like in just 10 or 20 years. It sure has changed since I was a kid. I remember there was a time when I breathed clean air and could be out in the sun all day without getting burned. Now, you can get burned in less than 10 minutes out in the direct sunlight when the UV index is high and the air is so polluted at times that I have a hard time breathing it. I remember a time when I could stand in my backyard and watch the sun set on the Great Salt Lake and now I can't even see it because of all the homes that have been built. There used to be a time when I wanted to go to other places on this Earth, but now I no longer want to. How many of them have been ruined and destroyed already. I always wanted to go to Africa and go on a safari to see the wild animals. How many of those animals are no longer on this Earth or they are so rare you will never see them. And one day I doubt there will be any land left for animals and it will just be wall to wall people. I just hope I'm dead and gone before this world totally turns into a world I don't want to be in.

Upcoming TV Season and Old TV Shows

I've been how excited waiting for all my old TV shows to start and now I'm not that excited. I've been looking at how much stuff lately and I'm so disappointed in what's coming up for how many of my shows. First off is Vampire Diaries. I don't know if I will continue to watch. It was bad enough having to watch the Damon and Elena romance because it was so boring and the Stefan and Caroline romance. Now, there is going to be a lesbian couple. Knowing how Vamp Diaries usually shows a lot of sexual content, I've no doubt that we will see this couple kissing and doing who knows what else. I don't care if the show has a gay couple, but I do not want to see the sexual side of the relationship on my screen. Sometimes I don't even want to see the other couples having sex. It sometimes is more explicit than a rated R movie. I remember trying out some new show on CW and there was a gay couple and the sex scene went on for a long time and I finally had to turn the channel. I don't want to see that. If I wanted to watch sex or porn, I would look somewhere else. I want to see good stories and interesting characters, not a ton of sex on TV. I don't care what characters get together or love each other or have sex. I just don't think it needs to be shown on TV. You can have the characters kiss and go in the bedroom and wake up in the morning together and talk about it, but why does it have to be constantly shown like a porno.
I can't believe that ABC has shown promos for Blood and Oil during family shows and it has two characters in the middle of having sex. I guess TV has gone back to permitting everything. Once they got those stupid ratings, they just ended up making shows have more violence, sex and swearing.
I have nothing against gay people or whatever they call that community today, nor do I support them. Frankly, I don't care what people do in their own bedrooms, but I do not want to see how much of it on TV. It seems like all the channels and shows are now jumping on the gay bandwagon and adding or making characters become gay or lesbian. I will watch Once Upon A Time and see what they do with that story. If it becomes too much, then I will be done with the show or I will just tune out those scenes and concentrate on the other characters of the show. As for Vampire Diaries, just watching that clip I saw made me not want to watch at all. I wonder how many more new characters are going to be appearing. I've always loved new characters, but lately, I haven't like or cared about any. As for this new lesbian couple, don't care about them already, nor do I want to see that. Thursday night is going to be crammed with shows and I know I'll be watching The Blacklist, but I don't know about any other show. It will depend when Sleepy Hollow is on, whether I watch it or not.
I'm excited for Gotham and I hope it stays good. I personally loved last year and I hate how they keep saying they've improved the show from last season and it will be better. I loved the first season and I guess I'll see if I love the second season or not. I'm sure the writers are going to make the show more like a soap opera, like everything else on TV. It seems like that's what all the shows I watch are. Just night time soaps.
I've been watching old TV shows and remembering why I loved them so much. They were mostly free from all the crap of TV today. A lot of them made you laugh and smile and feel good inside. That's the main reason I've loved TV. I want to watch something that will be as far away from my life as possible and something that will make me feel good. I've been watching High Mountain Rangers on YouTube and I remember how much I loved that show. It didn't have very many episodes, but it was a great show.
I also started to watch Friday The 13th: The series. I love this show now as much or more as I loved it back when I was younger. I loved the characters and the story. I loved how they were trying to get back all those cursed objects and what all the objects did. Maybe that's why I loved Supernaturals first season so much because it was like this show. Now, Supernatural is a soap opera and Sam and Dean do more harm than good. At least Mickey and Ryan didn't know about the antiques when they sold them, but after they sold some, they tried to get them back, plus what their uncle had sold.
I bought the DVDs to watch of the first two seasons and I've been watching on my Kindle.
To finish this post, I will say I'm excited for The Voice and Shark Tank to come on. I started watching Shark Tank and I love it now. I guess I'm starting to love reality shows or something. I remember a time when I hated them and would not watch them at all. I guess with the decline of good scripted shows and dramas, then that's all you have left.
Here's to hoping that some of my shows will be good. I don't know if I'll be watching all my favorite shows this season or not. Or if they will remain my favorites. TV keeps going downhill and I find myself reading more books again.
I guess time will tell and I'll watch and see what happens.

Supernatural season 11: Thoughts and Predictions

I just had to use this weirdo pic because it about sums up what Supernatural is all about. All these characters have split personalities and you never know which one you're going to see at any given time. They all should be in a loony bin somewhere getting shock treatments. Now that would be great for the last episode of the series. Sam and Dean wake up and they were really in a mental hospital the whole time and Castiel was their doctor and Crowley was the one who gave them shock therapy.
I watched the promo for season 11 and I actually felt a twinge of excitement until I remembered that's how I felt at the beginning of season 7 before the show turned into crap. Maybe the first half of season 11 will be good and then the writers will run out of steam and it will probably be all down hill from there. I don't expect much from the writers because they have not given me much for the last couple of seasons now.
Sam is going to be having visions. Wow! How long has it been since his last vision? Pretty long. I'm sure Sam's visions are going to be coming from Lucifer. Dean is going to have visions as well and I'm sure his will be from God. Seeing how Dean is the righteous man and God loves him above all others. I also read that we find out Sam had an imaginary friend. Who didn't know that? The writers. Lucifer has always been Sam's imaginary friend. I'm sure it was him who convinced Sam that he needed to get away from his rotten family and work a job and live normal and safe. That's not God's way because Dean has always followed God by stealing, killing, lying and having sex with whoever or whatever he can get.
The promo made it look like Crowley and Castiel will have something to do this season.  I'm sure the promo is making it look this way and really Rowena will have a way better story than Crowley yet again. I'm sure by the middle of the season, Castiel will be back to his usual boring self.
I love how snivels are already sniveling about poor Dean not having any story. Dean will be the front and center like always. The show has revolved around darling Dean since the very beginning and I doubt it will ever stop.
I wonder if the Darkness is going to be as stupid as the Mark Of Cain. Probably.
Now on to some predictions for the season. I'm sure good old Charlie will reappear in some form or another. That stupid Claire will probably show up yet again and I'll be bored to tears. Scary part is, I'd rather see stupid Charlie than stupid Claire. They both suck and I just want to turn the channel, but I can bet that both or one of them shows up multiple times this season. Another horrible female character is Rowena. I can stand her more than the other two, but I still don't want to see her dominating the whole show. I'm sick of these stupid female characters they keep shoving in our faces. I remember when Bela and Ruby were on the show. Neither one of them dominated an episode and Ruby is still pretty much a mystery as far as I'm concerned. I really wanted to know more about her character, but we never go to find out because fans hated her. The only reason most fans hated her was because she was involved with Sam. If she had been hot for Dean, then they would have loved her.Whatever. I've realized that any character that associates and likes Dean is loved and any character that associates or likes Sam is hated. So basically most fans love Dean and hate Sam. Doesn't matter what most of them say about either character, it's how the other characters that interact with them are treated by the fandom that prove how much they are loved or hated.
I haven't watched any episodes of Supernatural now for over four months and counting. I want to forget that the last 10 years of the show ever happened. For me to even like or enjoy season 11, I'm going to have to think of Sam and Dean as new characters that I don't know at all. Maybe I'll pretend that they died when the darkness swept over the car and these are new darker versions of them.
Hopefully, I'll like more episodes this season than last. Last season was the worst season ever and I never want to see or even think about any of those episodes again ever, even though a few were good. If this season doesn't start out good and keep going, then it will be time to drop the show for good. I'll find out what happens after the show is over and done with.

One last thing before I go. I'm so happy that I do not go to any Cons anymore. I looked on the site and now they have to tell fans not to tell their sob stories to the stars and at the panels. They really need someone to start moderating at the Cons and make sure fans don't ask stupid questions, tell their dumb sob stories or try to get sympathy from the stars for whatever.
Well that's all for now.

Walk The Moon - Shut Up and Dance (performed by Taylor Mathews)

I just love Taylor Matthews. He has such a unique and power voice. This is a great new song by him and I love listening to it. I love listening to his music at work. I just wish more people could discover Taylor and they would love him and his beautiful voice as much as I do. I can't wait for more and I'll never be able to get enough.

July Pics 2015

July was a great month. At the beginning of the month, I went to Colorado with my sister. We went to go and visit her two boys and my nephews. Loved spending time with them because I never got to spend time with them when they were children. I'm happy that I'll have these memories to look back on. I appreciate all the time I spend with the people I love. Whether they are family or friends.
My one nephew came back from Colorado and spent two weeks here. We went to the Lagoon, Wendover, The Aquarium and I know I had a great time. I cherished all the time I spent with my nephew, my grandnephews and my sister.
I took some crazy pics and some fun pics. I look back on last month and I think the best memory I have and will always remember is my nephew and grandnephew playing Guitar Hero. I don't know why, but it's just like time froze for a minute while I was watching them and listening to that music. I will never forget it.
Well that's it for now. This July will go down as one of the best I've ever had.

In Honor Of Cecil The Lion

My Johnny named this lion Cecil. What is sad is that one day, the only place we will see lions are in a zoo, pictures or animated ones. It would be nice to see a lion out in the wild from a distance and have the knowledge that it's free and alive. I always get sad seeing them at the zoo. It's sad that there are very few lions still wild out there. I don't know why, but seeing all the pics of Cecil and what that stupid hunter did to him, just have depressed me so much. It was a beautiful proud lion that was beloved and some idiot ended his life so horribly. I just can't understand what kind of person enjoys killing anything. The only reason I think people kill animals is to get some kind of power trip. The sad thing is, these idiots will never understand that power is just an illusion.
I've been getting so sad reading about all the animals that are endangered, threatened, being tortured and horribly killed for the sickest of reasons. This Earth was once a beautiful paradise that we were given and all we've done is turned it into a living hell. I think about things all the time and I guess it's just a luck of the draw. While some animals are revered, others are slaughtered and tortured. I do believe animals have souls and how many animals have saved human beings lives and they've asked for nothing in return but love. It's sad that we can't even love one other, let alone love all the creatures that inhabit this planet with us. We hate, torture and kill each other and we do the same to animals. Sometimes I feel we are the only real animals on this planet. We were born with intellect, but we choose to let are baser instincts rule us. I love how we do nothing to stop our own overpopulation of this planet, but heaven forbid if any animals overpopulate. And most of the time it's because of us that this happens. We kill how many animals a day and a lot of them for no other reason than they are taking up too much space or they are a nuisance or some other dumb reason.
I'm not some crazy vegan either. I eat meat and I think some animals are meant for us to eat, but they should be killed swiftly and with as little pain as possible. Animals in the wild kill other animals to eat and we are just at the top of the food chain. People will always eat meat, so there will always be animals that are killed for meat. I saw the videos about what happens to the chickens, cows and pigs and it broke my heart. I eat chicken, but I never really thought about what happened or how the chickens were killed. By me not eating chicken, will people stop killing chicken. Highly unlikely. I guess you have to look at all sides of things. I sometimes think if I didn't go to a restaurant or a fast food place to eat some chicken, what would happen? I'm sure tons of good food goes in the trash, so that poor chicken or cow died for nothing. I guess that's how I have to see things. I don't eat a lot of meat. I mainly eat chicken when I do eat meat. But, I eat cheese and drink milk. I hope those vegans who claim people can't stand up for animal rights don't eat cheese, eggs, or drink milk or any dairy product. Those animals are not treated any better and most end up being killed for meat after. Farmers kill how many animals to keep them away from their crops, so going vegan is not helping to save animals either.
Animals should be treated with dignity and respect. They should not be tortured or abused before being slaughtered. You'd think we'd be grateful to them for giving up their lives for us. That's how I would be if I had to hunt for my food and I had to kill an animal to eat so that I could survive. Most days, I would gladly give up my life for an animal because I don't think my life means anymore than theirs do.
I love animals because a certain cat named Mully was my angel straight from Heaven. She gave me love when I could not love myself and I didn't think anyone else loved me. She was always there for me when I was at my saddest and it's funny because she was an animal. Where was all the love from human beings. She gave me comfort and love and that's why I will always love animals because they do love just like we do.

Vampire Diaries Season 7 And More

I just love Paul and Ian because they are so cute together. I can't wait until I get my shirt with them both on it. I'm going to get the sweatshirt. Stefan and Damon are my most favorite brothers on TV.
I can't wait to see what's going to happen in season 7 with their mother. I hope there is a lot of tension between them. One thing I will not be happy to see in season 7 is a romance between Caroline and Stefan. I like them as friends and nothing more. I guess I'll just tune it out if they start kissing or getting romantic. I want greats stories, not more stupid romance. I don't think I'm even going to miss Elena. It was like I didn't care about her at all last season. I loved Elena when the show first started and I loved Nina playing both characters. I did not care to see the Elena and Damon romance. I still don't think they had any kind of chemistry between them. I watched them together and I just got bored and started playing on my Kindle. I hope Bonnie gets a better story because I love her character and it would be nice to see her more on the show. I just know I'll love Vampire Diaries if there is a great story going on. I don't care what characters have left or who's on the screen. I do want to see more scenes between Damon and Stefan though. I love their chemistry as brothers.
I haven't seen a lot of spoilers for my other shows and I really don't look at them all that much. They never spoil my shows anyway. I can't wait for Once Upon A Time. It looks like this season will be better than ever with Emma being dark and I can't wait to see what happens with my poor Rumple and Belle.
I watched some of the crap from the SDCC for Supernatural. It looks like it will be the same old tired crap as usual. I love listening to the lies every year. I love how Jared said there will be nothing between Sam and Dean like Ruby or Benny. I think Jared left out the one idiot that drove the deepest wedge between Sam and Dean ever and that was Castiel. He did so much crap and now they are all just buddy buddy. It makes me sick. I saw that ugly shirt Jared has out now. I hate those stupid moose antlers and I will not be buying that shirt like I didn't buy the shirt with his and Jensen's faces stuck together. I also think Jared should just buy his own plane and stop flying with any airline. None of them can live up to his high standards.
I've been watching the show The Whispers and loving it. Don't know if it will get renewed or not and right now I don't care. I'm just going to enjoy it while it lasts. I doubt I'm going to be watching any new show on TV this coming season. There really is no point to it, when most of them will be cancelled anyway. It seems like anything I watch gets cancelled. I hope to enjoy all my favorite returning shows and I will have to watch how many of them on Hulu again because now three of them are all on at the same time on Thursday night. I just love the stupid networks when they move shows around. I probably will not be watching The Originals because I have no idea what happened the last half of last season and I doubt I'll ever catch up. I'll probably be watching Sleepy Hollow on the weekends and hopefully it will be good or I'll stop watching it. Last season it was kind of weird. There were some good episodes and some not so good episodes. I guess I'll see what happens.
Well that's all for now.

Goo Goo Dolls - Better Days [Official Music Video]

carpenter - Bless the Beasts and the Children

Supernatural Season 10 and Maybe Season 11

I seriously don't know why I watched how much of season 10. I mostly just watched, but didn't listen to the stupidity of most of the episodes. I guess I'm stuck watching until the very bitter end because after watching a show for so long, you want to know how it will end. I liked about 5 episodes of season 10 and that's about it. To say I will not be buying the DVD's is an understatement.
I loved reading people's comments on the show on different sites. I love how Dean killed people and sure some of them were bad people, but he did nothing wrong or not all that bad. I love how in season 7 he was so quick to kill Amy who killed a bunch of creeps to save her son, but Dean wasn't saving anyone when he killed all those guys in that one episode. How many fans could not understand why Sam wanted Dean to be rid of the mark. Maybe the same way Dean wanted Sam to be rid of his demon blood addiction. The only difference was that Sam wasn't going around killing people when he was addicted to demon blood. He mostly drank Ruby's blood and when he did drink other demons blood, who knows if he killed the demon after or what. And most of those people were possessed for how long and probably would not be able to be saved anyway. Dean just wanted Sam to kill people with the knife and not his powers. What was the difference? Sam was not turning evil when he drank demon blood and he was not mean and cruel to Dean. Dean on the other hand with the mark, said and tried to kill Sam and then told Sam that he would rather he be dead instead of stupid Charlie. I never once saw Sam wanting to hurt Dean when he was drinking demon blood or when he was soulless. Sam had no soul and he wasn't just going around killing people or trying to kill Dean.
The whole Mark of Cain story destroyed the end of season nine and made it stupid and then went on to make season 10 stupid. Sam was basically a worthless character the whole time because he did nothing besides being worried about Dean. He was helpless and weak like he's never been able to defend himself and he needed Dean with the Mark to save him all the time. Unlike Dean who could take care of himself most of the time that Sam was strong from demon blood or soulless.
The saddest part of Supernatural right now is the horrible relationship Sam and Dean have. It's not a loving brother relationship as far as I'm concerned. I don't care if Dean had the mark or not. When you want to kill your brother and you say he should be dead instead of someone who isn't even related to you and that you hardly ever see, then that is not a loving brother at all. I love how Dean will never let Sam have any kind of relationship with anyone, but then wonders why Sam clings to him and doesn't want to let him go. Dean is all Sam has now and Dean made sure of that. Dean whined and sniveled when he came back from Purgatory about Sam not looking for him and being with a woman, but then when he turns into a demon, then Sam should just let him go and not care. It's like Dean tells Sam when to care about him and when not to. Like Sam should not even have his own brain and soul and he should just wait for Dean to tell him what to do.
As for Sam turning dark this season. That never happened at all. Sam convincing some idiot to sell his soul was not dark. The guy make his own choice and then Dean was the one that killed him, not Sam.  Sam had zero story and Jared could have had tons of time off during the season. The writers could have let Jared be absent from how many of the episodes and it would not have mattered because it was like he was absent any way.
Crowley might as well have disappeared as well. It's like he became even less than a guest star on the show and Rowena became the main star. Someone on the writing staff must sure love the lady who plays her character.
Now onto the finale of the season. It was okay in my opinion, but Dean who almost killed Sam at the beginning of the season, plus told Sam he wished he was dead instead of dumbass Charlie, goes and saves Sam yet again. That makes zero sense especially when killing Sam would help save the world. But whose fault was it in the first place that the world needed saving again. Dean. Dean who needs to do everything on his own with no help at all because only he can do it. And that's why he makes everything worse every time. Dean was the stupid idiot who went and got the Mark of Cain in the first place. I'm sure next season all the blame will go to Sam again because he lied to the almighty Dean and went behind his back to save him. Not like Dean hasn't done that to Sam how many times. The only difference is that Sam doesn't bring up Dean's mistakes over and over and whine and snivel about them like Dean does.
I would have some hope for season 11, but I doubt the writers will do anything with the darkness. For once it would be nice to see Sam and Dean working together as real brothers to fight the darkness and not each other. And it would be nice for Dean to finally realize he doesn't have to do everything alone all the time or that he is alone. Sam has been beside him all the time, but how often has Dean been beside and supported Sam. How many other people does Dean trust over Sam all the time? Maybe once it would be great if Dean would place a little trust in Sam, like Sam has always trusted Dean. Dean has let Sam down countless times, but Sam never calls him on it.
Here's to hoping that season 11 will be worth watching at least. And hopefully the writers will do something with Castiel and Crowley that isn't stupid. And it would be nice if Sam became a main character in the show again and maybe get some of his strength and smarts back. And hopefully some of his independence and not always have to be stuck to Dean's ass all the time.
I hope that if the writers are not going to use Sam in any meaningful way, then hopefully they will give Jared more time off.
That's all for now about this show until next season.
I loved all my other shows and I'm looking forward to all the great things that I know will happen in them next TV season.

Jared, The Walking Dead And Pet City

To start off this post, I'm thinking and praying for Jared. I don't know what's going on with him, but whatever it is, I hope he'll be okay. I will always love Jared. I haven't been happy with Supernatural or what's been happening or not happening with his character Sam in a long time. The reason I loved Supernatural so much is because of his character Sam. Not the Sam of today, who can barely show any emotions because if he does, the whole fandom hates him for some reason. The only Sam some of the fans of the show like is the Sam who just fades into the background. The Sam that has no emotions, except for wanting to save Dean. Fans even hate Sam for wanting to save Dean. They hated him for not looking for Dean when he was in Purgatory, even though Dean loved it there. It doesn't make any sense at all. I guess that's why I don't care to watch the show as much.
I watched the last couple of episodes and they were okay, but nothing great. I don't feel anything for any of the characters, so who cares what happens to them now. It's sad really.
I still love Jared for making me smile when I first saw him on The Gilmore Girls. Never liked the show until I saw him smile on that bus and then I had to keep watching it just to see him. I always loved seeing Jared smile and laugh because when I saw him, he made me smile and laugh as well. I love the earlier seasons of Supernatural because no matter how dark things got for Sam and Dean, they always had each other. It doesn't feel like that anymore when I watch the show for a lot of reasons.
I just hope Jared will be okay and that he spends all the time he needs taking care of himself and his wonderful family. I think he gives a lot of himself away and he really needs to spend more time away from the Supernatural fandom. He gives a whole lot and a lot of fans don't really appreciate him at all. There are a lot that do and I know there are a lot that don't. I know how many fans would be glad if he decided to leave the show because all they want to see is Dean and Castiel together. I still don't know what is so great about them. I get bored watching them on screen together, but that's just me. I guess I will always love the time before Castiel came and replaced Sam as Dean's brother.

Now onto The Walking Dead. I've been reading the books and I'm loving them. I was stupid and started reading them backwards. I read the last book that came out first and now I'm reading the first book and then the second. I read The Fall Of The Governor last weekend and I enjoyed every minute. I've never watched the show, but I bet it's good. Maybe one day I will start watching it or maybe not. I read a lot of books of TV shows, but never watch the shows. I love The Murder She Wrote books, but I've never watched one episode of the show. There's how many others. I love reading the books because I get more out of them and they sometimes can tell a better story. It's like I'm watching the show in my head while I'm reading the book and that is better than watching it.

Now on to Pet City. I just love the new theme in Pet City. It's Petlantis. I love how my Johnny can swim around with fins and then go back to having legs again. Pet City has always had great animation. I do see a lot more glitches in the game now and it scares me. That's what happened right before Pet Society was closed down. I saw more and more glitches in the game. I'm sure it takes a lot for those animations to run correctly. Some of them are kind of fun because one time it looked like Johnny had a ghost swimming next to him. I love the game and I hope it sticks around for a long time because it's fun and helps me relax and I laugh and smile while playing.

I think I have a pretty good handle on my addictions right now. My addiction to Supernatural is totally over for now, unless somehow Sam gets a storyline next season that's better than just wanting to save Dean. My gambling addiction is under control because I haven't gone gambling since the beginning of April. Willy Wonka's hold on me has loosened and the longer I stay away, the more I will stay away. I do so love those machines, though. They are fun until you lose and then the fun stops and you are totally broke. That's no fun at all. I really wanted to gamble last week after what happened at work, but I didn't and that's a good thing. Maybe it means that I'm not really addicted to gambling because I didn't gamble to escape from my problems.
Well that's all for now.

Remembering Sammy

The pain of losing Pet Society and my little Sammy and Co is still so strong in my heart. I miss them every day. Yes, I have Pet City now, but it will never be Pet Society. Just seeing all my old pics come up on Facebook makes me miss Sammy even more. I love to see them, though and I love remembering all the good times I had playing.
NBC cancelled Constantine and all I could think about was Pet Society. EA didn't give a crap about it's players and NBC doesn't give a crap about it's viewers. Same thing. All they care about is money, but isn't that what most people care about now. They just want money and could care less about anything else. Money doesn't buy love or happiness. I personally just want enough money to fix up my house, but it seems like I can never save enough to do it.
I've gotten kind of bored with TV lately. I still love watching my shows, but sometimes if I miss them when they come on, I don't watch them later. I may watch some of them over the summer when there is nothing on, but who knows. I've missed watching The Originals and I haven't watched the show since it came back after the winter break. I have been reading the books that have come out. I love the first two and I can't wait to read the third. I read a Vampire Diaries book on my new Kindle and it was really strange. I liked it, but it wasn't as good as the other VD books I've read. I can't wait to see Ian when he comes here to the Comic Con in Sept. That's going to be great.
I've really been loving Once Upon A Time lately and The Blacklist. Both shows have been great.
Now on to my stupid work. I really thought I was going to have a good year at my job and now I don't think so. I think the rest of this year is going to suck. I need to go back to being quiet and not talking again like I did long ago. It seems no matter what I do, I will never win. It's just like the song by Kelly Clarkson. I will never fit in or do anything right. I need to stop trying.
I've been posting some of my favorite songs of all time. I love all these songs for different reasons. It's nice to come on my blog and see and listen to them.

Evanescence - Bring Me To Life

Ozzy Osbourne - "Dreamer"

Animal Rights-You Say the Battle Is Over

Sam Winchester Exorcising at The Food Court

It looks like Sam Winchester made it to Pet City and decided to perform an exorcism at the Food Court. It looks more like he's preaching and he must be using his demonic powers to keep that book hovering in the air. And he is really short. I can't stop laughing, but I love it.
Pet City released Fright Night and tons of people went nuts. Some love it and some sniveled because it was right after Easter. Honestly, I just love snivelers. I go on Pet City VIP to look at all the creative ways other players make their rooms. I don't go on there to snivel and whine to the creators of the game about what I want. It seems like that's all I ever see. I want, I want, I want. Selfish people just wanting what they want and who cares about anyone else. I've loved all the releases that Pet City has put out. Some are way better than others and a few I didn't really care all that much about. I've usually found something I've liked for every release. A lot of players have been asking for Supernatural and The Walking Dead and they finally got some good stuff. I've never watched The Walking Dead, but I love all the cute stuff they put out.
I wish I still loved Supernatural because I would have gotten Sam, Dean, Castiel and the Impala. Oh! well. I'm glad it made others happy.

Roses

Here are some old pics of me when I was a really little girl. Our roses were so beautiful on the side of our house. Some of the rose bushes are still alive and I keep leaving them there, but they are starting to get really thorny now and some of them have died. I want to tear out all the old ones and plant new ones, so that the side of the house will look the same as it did when I was little. I hate yard work, so mostly I just leave them alone. I have to pull weeks and creeping vines out of them and a stupid tree has gotten into them and started growing. That's why I need to start over.
I remember when I was a kid and how I took roses and tried to preserve them in water. I thought they would stay beautiful and never die if I put them in water in an old frosting container. I wanted their beauty to stay forever, but that was not the way for it to be. I learned that their beauty stayed forever in my memory and I thought about them in the long cold winters and saw them blooming in my mind.
Then come spring, there would be new beautiful roses growing.
I love looking at old pics and remembering all that I had growing up. Some would say that I didn't have much, but I was rich in ways some people will never experience. Sometimes, when I've been angry, I have forgotten all that I have and have had in my life.
I sometimes wonder why when I gamble and win money, I throw it back and lose it all. Maybe, I really just don't want or need it. Money has never made me feel rich, only love has. When I have love in my heart and life, then I'm feel like I'm the richest person in the world.

T R I C I A - "What I Know"

John Denver Looking for Space

Supernatural Writers: Thank You

I'd like to thank the Supernatural writers in this post for totally destroying the show that I loved for so many years. Supernatural was my favorite show for so long, even when I got angry about certain stuff starting in the fourth season. I still loved the show and kept watching and supporting it. Now, there is no reason to watch it. Sam is probably the most underused main character that I've ever seen in any show that I've ever watched. The show is no longer about two brothers, only one and a bunch of other boring characters. Now on to more thank yous.
Thank you writers for making Sam Winchester the most worthless and useless character on any show that I've ever watched.
Thank you for making Dean Winchester the biggest hypocrite on any show that I've ever watched.
Thank you for constantly bringing back the most boring characters I've ever seen on any show ever and bringing them back and making the show more about them than Sam and Dean who the show is supposed to be about.
Thank you for making a big confusing stupid mess with the angels. I still have no clue what is going on with any of that crap and I don't care anymore.
Thank you for making Crowley and all the other demons on the show into stupid boring idiots.
Last but not least. Thank you for saving me a ton of money. I used to go to at least one Con a year and now I will never go to one again. I used to buy tons of merchandise and now I will not buy anything again.
Thank you and keep going with making the show a piece of crap because I don't care anymore.
It took me a long time to finally let go, but I think it's finally happened and it's all thanks to you.
One last thank you before I go. Thank you to Jared Padalecki for getting a shirt that says Always Keep Fighting. It's sad but Supernatural is the reason I was depressed for how long and Jared doesn't understand that. I loved his character Sam so much and now Sam might as well be dead because of the writers and Jared could care less. So thank you Jared for not caring that I loved your character and now I don't because of the stupid writers who don't know how to write Sam with any emotions.
That's all and the pic of my Johnny says it all.

Pet City And Constantine

I'm going to make a Constantine room in Pet City and I hope that I can make a really good one. I'm still hoping and praying for a season 2. I loved every episode of Constantine and I really want to see more. I've never read the comics, but I'm going to have to if there is no more show to watch. I'd really love to see everything played out on my TV screen instead of reading the comics. I like comics, but I don't read them very often. I'm glad I changed my pet's name to Johnny. Now his name not only comes from my love of Johnny Crawford, but John Constantine as well.
Pet City has been so much fun to play lately. I'm loving all the themes and the cute stuff they come up with. I love all the other people who can create rooms using different stuff from all the themes and the shops. I'm not that creative. I try and I'm going to really try making a great Constantine room. I'm going to take my time with it and hopefully I will come up with a great looking room. I'm pretty simple and I really can't get the hang of doing more dimensional rooms.
I still wish I had my Sammy in Pet Society. I sometimes think of all the cute stuff my Sammy had or that he could have had by now. If I still had Pet Society, then I'm sure my Sammy would have had a Constantine room as well.
Well that's it for now.

The Blacklist, Constantine And Other TV Stuff

I'm so happy that The Blacklist is back on again. It was a long wait, but well worth it. I loved that two parter two weeks ago. It was nice to see the show twice that week. I have to keep reminding myself that it is now on Thursday night. It's nice that it's on an hour earlier and right after Vampire Diaries. I can watch my vampire soap opera and then a nice action show right after and then go to bed with visions of Red dancing in my head. I just love when Red talks and tells one of his stories. They are just so mesmerizing and James Spader just delivers them so well. Sometimes I cry while watching and other times, I laugh and cry depending on what he's saying.
Constantine's first season has ended. It was only 13 episodes and that just sucks because I want more. I'm still hoping and praying for season 2, but I'm not going to count on it. I love how NBC kept saying how much they believed in the show, but then never had any promos for it during the week. Or none that I saw. If Constantine does not get renewed, then I doubt I will be trying out any new show NBC comes out with. I'm tired of watching new shows only for them to be cancelled because the ratings are not what was expected. And the stupid networks still using an outdated ratings system when there are so many ways to watch TV today. I personally love to watch my shows live and when they are first aired. It drives me crazy when I miss one of my shows and I later have to watch it on Hulu. The finale of Constantine was excellent and I suspected what was going to happen, but I was still pretty surprised and I loved that. I loved seeing Constantine pissing in the rain. There was just something really funny about that.
Now onto my other shows. I have missed watching The Originals, Gotham and Sleepy Hollow for the last four weeks now. I don't think I'll ever catch up on them. I really don't know about Sleepy Hollow anymore. Sometimes I like it and sometimes it's just weird and nothing like the first season. I really want to see what's going on with all the characters on The Originals and I hope to catch up soon. I really hate Monday nights because so many of my favorite shows are on all at the same time. It sucks.
Now, onto Vampire Diaries and Supernatural. Both of these shows have given into the ships and certain fans and I really hate that. It seems like majority rules for both shows. I guess most fans just want Dean Winchester and that's about all you get when you watch Supernatural. On Vampire Diaries most fans want Damon and Elena together and that's what you're getting, plus the fans who want Stefan and Caroline together. The main reason I loved Vampire Diaries was for the love triangle between Damon, Elena and Stefan. I wanted it to go on to the end of the show and then find out who she would choose. I can at least still enjoy watching Vampire Diaries because I love all the characters and most of the time, I don't care who they are with at any given time. I cried during the last episode when Caroline's mother died. It made me think of my own Mom. I love all the music and how they do certain scenes on Vampire Diaries. One thing I also love is that Vampire Diaries uses all their characters and not just the popular ones. I know a lot of fans that just watch for Damon and Ian, but it's nice that the writers don't just push him front and center and forget about the rest of the cast.
Where Supernatural has really become The Dean Show and his character is front and center and the show is boring as hell. I'm so tired of them researching that stupid mark and looking in books in how many episodes. And I'm tired of Dean staring at his stupid hand and arm. I mostly watch episodes with the sound turned off and listen to music while watching. Then I don't have to hear the stupid things Dean says to other people. He's such a big hypocrite that it's not even funny anymore. The writers are just horrible and they just write whatever. They probably think they are writing the greatest episodes because idiots on Twitter constantly tell them how great their writing is. Then the same idiots go somewhere else and complain how crappy the episodes are and the writing. It's pretty funny and probably the only enjoyment I get out of Supernatural anymore. I love to read what people think about the episodes even when I don't watch or listen to them. I at least get a laugh because Supernatural is just one big joke of a show right now. It's pretty sad for me to say that, but it's true. I really don't care what happens on the show anymore and I hope those Dean fans are getting what they want. Dean is the big hero of the show and has been since day one and now the writers are just making that totally and completely clear. That's why I hate listening to Carry On My Wayward Son because when they play it on the show, it's about Dean and only Dean, not both Sam and Dean. The show has been Dean's journey since season four and it's continued and probably will be until the show ends. I hope Sam turns evil to save Dean because then Sammy turning evil will be all Dean's fault. Then Dean can kill Sam and know he was right all along about his brother being a monster. I love how the writers and Carver try to make it look like the show is about two brothers. It's not, It's about one brother who's the righteous hero and the right hand of God and that's Dean. Whatever. I really can't wait to find out what crap the writers come up with for the end of season 10 and for the whole season 11.
I've been watching some of my older shows on DVD and loving them all over again. They are a comfort to me when my other shows are in repeats or I just need to watch something from the past. I love old shows because they make more sense than some of the shows that are on today.
Well that's it for now.

FanX15

Wow! I had a great time at FanX. It was the best Con that I've ever been to. I actually was not going to go to it at first and I wish I would have bought a ticket when they were on sale. The main reason I decided to go was to meet Paul Wesley. When they announced that he was going to be coming, I literally freaked out. I was not disappointed because Paul Wesley is just an awesome person. I think he was the best celebrity I have ever met. He was so kind and while he was signing my autograph he talked to me for a bit and it didn't feel rushed. I'm glad my shirt came from the campaign he had with the Humane Society. I loved that I was able to wear it and he gave me a high five. That was just the best thing ever. I can't believe how down to Earth and great he really is. He made my day and during his panel with Phoebe, he made me laugh so hard. He was the best part and I'm so happy and grateful that he came here to Salt Lake.
I enjoyed every day I was there because I got to meet some of my favorite stars and listen to their panels. The Con people did such a great job this time around. There was no waiting in big long lines because we had wristbands that we scanned coming and going. It was nice to leave and then if you wanted to come back, you could. I'm also glad that they limited the tickets that they sold and gave away. It was a better experience all the way around. It wasn't so crowded and it was a whole lot nicer.
I was not going to go to Felicia Day's panel, but I was already in the room and had good seats with my sister so we stayed for 5 panels straight. I like Felicia, but there is no way in hell that I will ever like her character from Supernatural. I do not think her character on the show is a strong female. It seems like every time Charlie is on, Sam and Dean have to rescue her or save her. She's had her arm broken twice now and she's almost died and has died and been brought back to life. I'm tired of it already. Truly strong female characters can take care of themselves and save themselves. They don't need someone to help and rescue them all the time.
To go off on a tangent here, I'm going to say something about Supernatural and Jared. I used to love reading Jared's tweets on Twitter, but now I'm actually getting tired of them. When he starts complaining about how much an airline charges, whether he was joking or not, is getting ridiculous. He can certainly afford paying how much to fly wherever he needs to go. True he is not a billionaire, but he certainly is a millionaire and can afford a couple thousand dollar flight at the last minute in first class. It's bad enough that I've stopped enjoying him playing Sam Winchester, but now I've stopped enjoying his tweets or even seeing him on Twitter in pictures or anything else. It's sad to say this but when I do watch Supernatural, it seems that Jared's acting is very lackluster, not that he gets much material to work with. But it just seems like he's just sticking around on Supernatural to make money or whatever. It's like he's not even serious about acting at all and it shows when you watch his character. But like I said, the writers don't write anything really for him to act. I guess I just don't enjoy seeing his character of Sam just sitting around doing almost nothing in almost every episode. Jared seems okay with it and that's what's sad as well. It seems like he doesn't even care about his fans anymore. I guess that's okay because he can do whatever he wants to. I think if he cared about his fans then he would tell the writers to maybe do something more with his character than what they are doing. Instead he says he's just sitting back and letting them write whatever. I would too if that meant I did not have to work as much, but I still got paid a ton of money. Whatever. I used to really think Jared was a wonderful person, but now I feel nothing for him as well as the nothing I feel for the character of Sam. It seems like Jared now does not put anything of himself into his character and it really shows. I guess that's why I love the first three seasons the most because it felt like Jared truly liked to act and now it feels like he's just going through the motions and waiting until the show ends so he can do something else.
Okay that was enough of that, but I just needed to get it out.
I have tons of new stuff from FanX to think about and I might start watching Game Of Thrones. I never thought much about the show until I saw the panel with two of the stars. I love going to Cons like FanX because I can learn about all kinds of new things and find new shows to watch and new books to read.
I'm hoping to go to the next Comic Con here in Salt Lake. Hopefully, I will buy my ticket early and lots of good stars will attend.